At war with myself ...

the very definition of an auto immune disease.

My body has identified something 'alien' within its own borders 

and is acting, 

or reacting, 

accordingly.

There's something poetically symbolic in it all

and disturbing 

and sad.

Rheumatoid arthritis,

not lupus,

and

low dose chemotherapy

in an attempt to bring on a remission.

Methotrexate may be my new best friend.

For the first time in 5 years,

I didn't wake up in the middle of the night 

from pain.

Learning to live better chemically -
which also seems to be a contradiction in terms.