Thursday, June 23, 2011

I am not a 'list' person.

My mind isn't linear nor is it concise.

It's more 'free range'; roaming here and there, grazing at will on a particular topic or thought for a certain period of time and then moving on, with no apparent rhyme nor reason to its movements.

I get no pleasure from checking off a box signifying some completed task.

The very nature of ER work consists of hours of calm and extended moments of all hell breaking loose.

In the midst of the drama and chaos, NO check list is going help you then; you learn to fly by the seat of your pants - and to love the precariousness of it all.

That being said, on a friends blog several weeks ago, there were several 'lists' that I found intriguing and, as I was returning from the rez, ticking off mile after mile, I thought I'd give them a try.

I sometimes
... think I can't be a 'pain sponge' at work one more day; absorbing other peoples drama and despair.

... worry about the legacy, and lunacy, I'm leaving my children.

... wonder why I've been so blessed when other single moms struggle so hard.

... accept that even if relationships in my life had evolved differently, it would be just that - different - and not necessarily better than the life I've crafted by and for myself.

... wish I was more patient.

I always

... am grateful for the presence of family and friends in my life.

... trust that God has a plan for me and a purpose for my life.

... wonder when and how I will die.

... have an abiding sense of not being alone.

... try to see the humor is life's absurdities.

I never

... can travel through a town without wondering what it would be like to live there.

... want to lose my sense of wonder.

... will be able to retire.

... want to be a burden on my children.

... stop wishing I lived on the Jersey Shore in a cottage with a screened porch.

What would YOUR lists contain?

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