I don’t know, friends.
Just when I think he can’t possibly go any lower,
he proves me wrong.
I keep telling you there aren’t any words to describe
how disheartened I am by the current inhabitant of the White House
and all the moral midgets
who stand silently by his side
while he attempts to destroy
everything decent and honorable about our country.
Maybe I should just say there aren't any new words.
I chastise myself,
thinking I should know better.
#45 will NEVER change;
he will ALWAYS be a con man and a liar.
Knowing HE won’t change,
I keep thinking I should.
I shouldn’t watch so much (or any) news.
I should shake my head and let the inanity roll off my back
rather than scream at the screen until my blood pressure reaches stroke level.
I should retire to my happy place, read and pray – for the next 7 years,
accepting what I can’t control
and letting God be God.
But it’s not working.
I went to church early on Sunday morning
after being overwhelmed all weekend by news of the tragedy and horror
unfolding in Charlottesville.
I went early because I knew I needed extra time and space to pray -
for forgiveness and for a softening of my heart.
You see, the reality is that as I watched the news of people with my skin color,
carrying tiki torches and spewing hatred for anyone other than them,
other than us,
my anger grew
and, along with the anger and disgust,
there was hatred.
Seriously, my anger matched theirs;
it could have grown legs and marched in goose step
parallel to them,
shouting different phrases
but radiating hatred all the same.
I HATE Nazis’, white nationalists, the KKK, racists,
all the people who encourage or tolerate them
and whoever else considers themselves part of the so called ‘alt-right’ –
whatever the hell that is -
beyond a pathetic attempt to make themselves sound more palatable and benign.
My hatred quickly broadened into hating all confederate Southerners
because, let’s face it, if they hadn’t existed
we wouldn’t have had the damn Civil War to begin with,
let alone having to deal with the so called ‘dilemma’ of what to do with their damn sculptures.
Frankly, I don’t think it’s a dilemma at all.
They’re statues celebrating traitors who sought to tear our country apart.
We wouldn’t put up a statue of Timothy McVey in Oklahoma
or the 26 terrorists who flew into the Trade Center on 9/11 in NYC.
Why have the likes of Robert E Lee, Sherman, Jefferson Davis
and all the other secessionists around?
They wanted to leave this union– so leave!!
Oh, and while I was at it,
I threw evangelical Christians into my Hate bucket as well;
those miscreants who have contorted the gospel,
the ‘good news’,
into being nothing more than a message of exclusion, blame and inequality.
I really hate those right wing nut-jobs
because they’ve co-opted all I hold sacred
and made ALL Christians suspect.
As I sat and wept,
I realized that all my hate
made me exactly like 'them'.
This isn't a false moral equivalency of saying that
what I consider to be appropriate disgust and moral outrage
directed at the actions of people who would deprive other human beings
of the very act of existence
is the same.
It's not to say I won't continue to fight against the forces - and faces - of evil.
But the feelings,
the ease with which they sprung up,
and the depth and intensity of them
did make me slip off my high horse
for a few minutes
as I fought against the all too human tendency
to become the evil we deplore.
God, it's never been this hard to be a citizen of the United States.