Saturday, January 14, 2017

Friday, January 13, 2017

Humpty Trumpty 1

Because quite frankly, 
if I have to live through 4 years of his sh*t,
 I might as well have fun with it! 

I'm envisioning a whole series of these - 
until I'm contacted by the artist with a cease and desist order!


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

My T-rump moment

It wasn't 3AM; 
it was 6AM -
which at my age might as well be 3! 

It was crack of dawn dark thirty 
and I had no business being on social media,
let alone responding to someones post.

But I was - 
and I did -
because one of my dogs wet the bed and I had to strip the damn thing,
right down to the mattress pad 
and remake it -
which is another whole story - 
so already the day wasn't off to an auspicious start.

(Honestly, this isn't just a "my dog ate my homework" excuse;
it was a combination of a dog sleeping extremely soundly
and a weeks worth of prednisone for a 'hotspot' 
which causes increased thirst and increased urination).

Anyway ....

I clicked onto Facebook and there it was on a friends page.

And, faster than T-rump can change his mind about a major policy issue,
I replied:
Until Bobs Candidate and all his friends 
tell Sally what she can and can't do with her uterus 
and who she can and can't love 
and how she must look and behave 
in order to be 'worthy' of their time, attention 
and equal protection under the law;
then Sally will get strong enough and smart enough
to tell Bob to go f*ck himself!

And, just like T-rump,
I'm totally unrepentant.

I am sick of people who voted for the PEOTUS telling people who didn't 
that the 'adult' thing to do is to
 accept it, smile and get on with life.

Besides, does anyone really think it's any coincidence that
this meme features a MALE as the Republican and a woman as a Democrat?

This isn't an innocuous meme about being 'adults'; 
this is about males telling 'subordinates' to accept their position,
their position as 'other',
as 'losers';
this is about males being in the dominant position 
and women and minorities knowing and accepting their place.

And that's a message I don't accept - 
no matter what time of day it is!

Saturday, January 7, 2017


When the song of the angels is stilled,
when the star in the sky is gone,
when the kings and princes are home,
when the shepherds are back with their flock,

the work of Christmas begins:
to find the lost,
to heal the broken,
to feed the hungry,
to release the prisoner,
to rebuild the nations,
to bring peace among people
to make music in the heart.

Thursday, January 5, 2017


This public service, educational moment is brought to you by the Letter K.
Are you in despair of the incoming administration?
Do you wonder what happened to the form of democratic government
you were forced to study 
all those years ago 
in civics class?

Do you long for two party system we USED to have - 
with all its flaws -
where people of differing opinions actually worked together
for the common good?

Yeah, me too!

But it's helped -
a little bit -
to learn that there's actually a term for the form of government that's coming -
and it's been around since 1829, 
coined by English author, Thomas Peacock,
and used in the US in 1876
when American poet, James Russell Lowell used it in a letter.

"What fills me with doubt and dismay is the degradation of the moral tone. 
Is it or is it not a result of Democracy? 
Is ours a 'government of the people by the people for the people,' 
or a Kakistocracy rather, for the benefit of knaves at the cost of fools?"

government by the worst, least qualified or most unscrupulous persons;
a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. 

I'm sorry to say I missed the earlier reference
but in February 2016, 
David Clay Johnson apparently warned we were moving toward a kakistocracy,

"America is moving away from the high ideals of President Kennedy's inaugural address - 
'Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country'.
Instead we see politicians who say they love America but hate the American government."

Kakistocracy -
spell check get used to seeing this word; 
stop telling me there's no such thing.

We're living in it!

We're going to be using this term ALOT in the years to come.

Sunday, January 1, 2017


That's what it feels like... and I know its silly.

They're objects, after all; 
inanimate and of little intrinsic monetary value.
But I see them through the eyes of personal history.

I remember who I was with 
and under what circumstances they were acquired.
 I know which ones my kids were always glad to see
and which ones scared them into behaving until Christmas!
 From minis
 to handmade,
there are so many stories to tell;
 but the time to tell them is too short.
 They're being packed away later today.
And that makes all of us sad.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

It's almost gone

 I've spent the morning taking a look back
and am grateful for the places
and people
who have made 2016 such a beautiful tapestry.
The collages don't begin to cover it all.

And, while I'm in the midst of moving from one season to another
I'll send out this wish for all of us

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Yearly Wrap up:

For many in my circle of friends, 
2016 has been a horrid year – 
in tone and content of public discourse,
being forced to acknowledge those citizens with whom we share
the same basic geographic space 
but apparently little else;
in the outcome of the political election
and in the loss of our perception of the moral character of our country.

If you’re like me,
it’s easy to let the past few weeks
of increasingly desperate social media ‘feed’ 
color your perception of the entire year.

I was challenged recently by a friend 
to ‘re-frame’ the year before it ended; 
to sit down and intentionally reflect on 
“16 Things that went Right in 2016”. 

(Goes without saying that 'right' in this context means 'well',
 not 'right' as in a political orientation!)

‘Setting intentions’ for 2017 is the next challenge– 
which may well be influenced by how successful I am 
 in first setting a positive perspective for the year that’s ending).

So here it goes …

16/15/14: Two opportunities to discover Northern CA and a trip to San Francisco. 
Let me say without hesitation that I’m a fan!
Art Boy has lived in CA before –in  Los Angeles - 
so when I heard he was moving back to CA again, my inner response was “meh, ok.”
I figured Northern CA was like southern CA:
 all the superficiality, glitz, 
preoccupation with outward appearance and perfection - only cooler.
 I’ve lived to be schooled. 
Northern CA has its own separate character, topography and mood – 
and it sings to my soul in too many ways to count. 
 (Actually my trips there could practically count as the top 10 of the things 
that have gone well this year!) 

I’ve written about my trips (here and here
in case you want to remind yourself of all the gorgeousness. 
(I'll be starting 2017 with another trip to CA as well!. 
But that’s news for another day.)

13: A fabulous 10 day trip to Cuba
satisfying my inner adventuress in exploring new cultures and locations.
It was also a check to see how efficiently my liver tolerates a challenge- 
and I’m here to say it seems to do quite well with metabolizing rum! 
Good to know.

12: Reading 36 books 
(+ enough news articles from the NYT, Washington Post, New Yorker, 
Atlantic Review, Indian Times and Huffington Post to equal 
several doctoral theses.)

11. Regularly giving myself the gift of time and space for silence and meditation, 
both in my own house and while walking labyrinths.

10. Creating – 
and it’s really hard not to be judgmental and qualifying, 
giving my inner critic voice room to say “but not as much as you should have” 
and “not as much as you have in the past”. 
Hey, voice in my head – just shush! 
I made things – 
a painted folk art piece I love, 
images with my camera, 
and books of those favorite images
so they can be enjoyed without sitting at a computer 
and there are many more works ‘in process’.

9. Learning how to manage the pain and reality of living 
with both chronic and life threatening medical conditions. 
(Rheumatoid Arthritis and Smoldering Myeloma); 
using a combination of holistic/alternative measures and traditional medications. 
I think the combo is working! 
Pain is reduced, 
inflammation markers on my blood work have improved 
and vital organs, so far, look minimally impacted. 
I’m taking it as a WIN!

8/7. 2 years of post-retirement, full time employment coming to an ‘official’ end.  
As most of you know, returning to work has been a mixed blessing for me. 
Adrenaline is still my preferred drug of choice and developing a clinic from scratch, 
with all the administrative and technological components of creating a ‘dashboard’ 
in the electronic medical record 
along with the data keeping and reporting obligations of being accountable 
to hospital Administration, the Foundation funding the grant and state officials 
hardly qualifies as “living on the edge”. 
Living on The Cliffs of Insanity, maybe,
but NOT exciting by any stretch of the imagination. 

The pluses: 
 I’ve used different executive decision making regions of my brain, 
had income that’s allowed me to take the trips I’ve loved, 
bought extra things for family I wouldn’t have been able to afford without it, 
been challenged by strong willed, passionate professionals – all with opinions about the things we ‘should be doing’ and happy to share those opinions on a frequent basis, 
made a distinct difference in the lives of children in the foster care system, 
exceeded expectations by serving over  850 kids 
and created a viable program that will continue for years 
as an integral part of the hospital, 
serving as a model for how to medically manage children in state custody. 

As my boss says “competence is its own punishment” – 
and I’ve been asked to be a Standing member on 2 oversight committees in the Capitol. 
I get to share the expertise that comes from over 3 decades of being in Child Welfare 
with folks who might actually have the power/ability to make some lasting changes. 

The minuses -  
been challenged by strong willed, passionate professionals – all with opinions about the things we ‘should be doing’ and happy to share those opinions on a frequent basis, 
operating a clinic while being without the appropriate amount of dedicated space or staff, 
lack of ongoing support from hospital administration 
and stretching my limited physical stamina to beyond what feels healthy on many days. 

Overall, the pluses carry the day. 
While the decision about when to try retirement again will definitely be revisited 
on a frequent basis 
and there might come a day when the pluses DON’T win out, 
for right now, 
I’m still here – by choice.

6. A full year of being Junior Warden on the Vestry of our church during a time of transition. 
The retirement of our Rector, working with the Diocese on finding an Interim, facilitating the Nominating Committee, extra meetings with Vestry, meetings with the Bishop – 
all extra obligations of which I was blissfully unaware when I was elected. 
And all spinning plates I’ve been able to juggle 
without (knock on wood) dropping any, so far. 
No thanks to me as much as to the faithful good people in our parish 
and the grace of God! 
5.  Two trips to Rosebud reservation (for mission work and play);
trips which deepen my ties to place and people 
in ways that nourish my spiritual life 
and connects me on a cellular level,
in ways I can't explain,
to a broader circle of ‘ancestors’.

4. Deepening relationships with a circle of soul sisters who meet monthly 
for “Bread, Wine and Whine”; 
women who laugh, cry and grow together as we face growing old – 
and there’s frequently nothing overtly amusing about that – 
but somehow there is when its shared.
3. Deepening relationship with family members who share decades of history from different perspectives and love many of the same people I do.
2.  Continuing to watch my sons as they grow into men who are strong, sensitive, 
capable and caring; 
creating lives that reflect who they are and what they value. 
1. The extraordinary joy of seeing another generation come safely into being 
and the blessing of being a small part in a new life.
Maybe, 2016 hasn't been such a bad year after all.

What would be on your list?

Wednesday, December 28, 2016


Donald Trump:
62,979,879 votes

Hillary Clinton:
65,844,954 votes

Gary Johnson
4,488, 919 votes

Jill Stein
1,457, 044 votes

Evan McMullin
725,902 votes

Write ins
1,103,554 votes

4553,664 votes

74, 074, 037 
Americans voted against Trump 

Despite how it feels,
the idiots are NOT winning.

Hang in there
and remember -
more people voted for someone OTHER than the president elect
than those who voted for him.

He does NOT represent the majority of Americans.
Nor will he,

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Merry Christmas

end a quarrel.
Seek out a forgotten
friend. Dismiss suspicion,
and replace it with trust.
Write a love letter. Share some
treasure. Give a soft answer. Keep
a promise. Find the time. Forego a grudge.
Forgive an enemy. Listen. Apologize if you
were wrong. Try to understand. Examine your
demands on others. Think first of someone else.
Be kind; be gently. Appreciate. Laugh a little. Laugh a
bit more. Express your gratitude. Gladden the heart of a
child. Welcome a stranger. Take pleasure in the beauty and the
wonder of Earth.
Speak your love.
Speak it again.
Speak it yet
once again.

Saturday, December 24, 2016


 I've never been one to deny reality.
Even in times of darkness and chaos,
I can look for points of light
and acknowledge
that beauty and goodness remain -
even if diminished to the point of being hidden.
 But in this bleakest of mid-winters,
I've wanted distortion and illusion.

I've wanted not just points of light
but snowflakes
and stars
 and candy canes.
My soul has cried out for soft and blurred.
I've been so busy this Advent
being in the world
 that I've lost sight of the meaning for this whole season.
 Advent invites us to grow in patience,
to position our lives so that we don't miss sight of what God is doing
in all the world;
it invites us to remember that God comes in vulnerability and smallness.

Advent gives us a chance to slow down,
to spread our lives and hearts before God,
and patiently watch
for where the light of God is falling.

I feel compelled,
even at this late date,
to take time to sit
and just breathe;
to wait in silence,
and trust 
that God is still God.

God is with us, even when we're frightened for the future.
God is with us, even as we fight for what we believe to be right.
God is with us, even when we are tired.
God is with us, even when we are sad.
God is with us, even when we can't get a grip or find our balance

God is with us, even when our world seems ready to swallow us whole.
God is with us, even when people say all lives don't matter 
or that some of us need to get over it and move on.

God is with us, even when the house is a wreck.
God is with us, even when the country is a wreck.
God is with us when we're a wreck.
We are who we are
and we are here,
but he is here too.

God is with us. 

God is with us, not despite the suffering, 
but in the suffering.

My friends,
may we help each other know that the One we are waiting for 
is waiting for us. 

May we feel His presence. 

On this holy night,
may each of us know ourselves as we really are: 
beloved, welcome.
Already home.


is the birthday 
of my sons father, 
my former husband, 
and though he’s been dead 
for almost 30 years
there’s not a Christmas Eve 
when I’ve not thought of him – 
and given thanks for his presence in my life.

We didn’t have forever, 
we had impermanence.

We didn’t have perfect, 
we had flawed…

but we had real – 
in all its manifestations.

Tomas, I’m glad you were born.
 I’m glad you were you 
and we were us.

Without you, 
these guys wouldn’t be here – 
being who they are – 
and my world would be 
infinitely diminished.
If bringing them into the world 
was reason alone 
for our time together, 
then we were a great success.

Happy Birthday, TR!
You would be very proud of our sons; 
they're the best things 
we ever did!

In case you think you don't 'live on'
take a look at this -
and reconsider!

And then look at our grandson -
who bears your name.
 He'd melt your heart!

You are missed.
You are remembered.
You are loved.