Reset

 I wouldn't presume to speak for anyone else;

but, as this is MY blog,

I don't have to;

this is me -

and I am feeling MUCH better.

I think I've had a massive reset -

in part because of the sunnier weather

(although going from 90's - 40's x2  in the past 2 weeks hasn't been ideal);

but also because there are signs of new life EVERYWHERE

which is always wonderful to see;

and not just because my RA and smoldering myeloma are under control at the moment

which makes getting around easier.

 I think it's more than that. 

 

It was definitely helped by the No Kings March this weekend;

being surrounded by thousands of like minded citizens who are also 

appalled at what the current regime is doing to our country -

and the world -

was extremely gratifying. 

(Look at this guy - 

I felt like I was protesting next to Gov Tim Walz! )

I recently experimented with a new form of protesting-

the Singing Resistance -

have you heard of it?

 

My contention has long been that this movement 

needs a better sound track.

 

I've scoured the playlists on a music app we all probably use

and have compiled a collection that I listen to non-stop while I'm driving

so, when I saw a post to meet with other folks and sing, 

I was in!

 It was a lovely experience -

and totally NOT for me.

It's based on inclusion, love and community -

what's not to like about that, right?

 

The singers were mostly women my age;

the tunes, most call and response, were easy to follow 

with lyrics I couldn't argue with ...

but, on the whole, it was a bit too Kumbaya for me. 

 

I'm just not there.

(You should listen to the KC N Kind and LoFi Plum

for what I'm listening to) 

 

I'm here 

It's good to know your lane, right?

The other thing that helped me 'reset'

was a historical reminder.

 

Nazi Germany had a population of roughly 79 million people.

The current US population is over 340 million.

 Nazi Germany was also geographically smaller than the size of Montana. 

 

It seems to me, 

it was far easier to convince a geographically condensed country

with a more heterogeneous population

of a political ideology that was repugnant

than it will be in a country as vast and as diverse as ours.

 

The malignant individualism that I have railed against before as a common thread in our country

might actually turn out to be a saving feature in our current reality.   

You can disagree -

just don't burst my bubble of a reset quite yet.

It's a nice place to visit. 

Road trips - 'cause who doesn't like a reprieve from nonstop chaos

 I've lived in MO since 1970...

catch a breath ...

it's a lot for me to take in too!

I think I'm familiar with many of the sights throughout the state.

Despite living on the East side of the state 

(centered around St Louis),

I had a child who attended undergraduate school in Kansas City

and he's lived there, on and off, for decades,

so I'm no stranger to the Western side and all points in between.

But, when a friend asked me to go with her to see the Truman Library in Independence,

I realized I had never been there before.

 The trip started in snow and temps in the 20's

and finished (just the next day) with sun and temps on the 70's,

so it was a typical MO spring.

 

There was all the homespun, down to earth-ness you'd expect

but also exhibits which were reminders of worldwide issues that plagued him -

which, not coincidentally, continue to plague the world today -

a war in a divided Korea,

use of the atomic bomb,

concerns about Russia and its influence,

citizens rights - civil and legal,

fear of "communism" 

and how much federal government should interfere and monitor

 in personal and political beliefs of its citizens.

There also was a section devoted to the creation of Israel

and the problems that would be created in Palestine with displaced Arab refugees.

(Prescient and troubling with the predictions and lack of answers.)

 

It was a fascinating look into a period of history that I actually lived through

but, as a child, was, for the most part, blissfully unaware.

There was a beautiful display of letters he and Bess had written to each other

as well as a display of paper peace cranes

made by a child survivor of the bomb dropped at Hiroshimo

that she made 10 years later as she was dying of radiation poisoning.

Each crane was a prayer for peace.

The displays were tastefully done and instructive 

and, while it was 'wordy' and not geared to children or teens,

it was definitely worth the trip.

The Oval Office of Truman.

Don't know about you but I miss the simplicity! 

 It wouldn't be Missouri without a mural 

by Thomas Hart Benton.

 

 Truman also worked in his Library on site 

EVERY DAY 

after his term ended -

because he didn't have any savings;

there was NO Secret Service protection offered 

and he lived on his meager income

from a failed haberdashery earlier in his career

and a small pension from his military service. 

AND, Good Lord, he was a reader!

Remember when we had leaders who were interested in history and biographies 

of other famous historical figures.

(Insert deep sad sigh here)

 

I will also admit I had NO idea he and Bess are actually buried on the grounds.

THE TRUTH IS ALL I WANT FOR HISTORY.

(Me too, Harry. 

Me too.) 

Oh ... and if you head into town -

stop by a fabulous 'throwback' diner for a wonderful hotdog!

It was a great trip!

Ps - If Mexican is more your style,

there's also a terrific option

which we experienced the night before.

Always good to have options!

 

 

I have to keep pinching myself

 to remind me that I'm NOT back at work.

 

For decades, I was a child abuse social worker in a pediatric hospital in an urban ER.

I was the person to whom many children first disclosed sexual abuse.

 

I have heard literally thousands of descriptions about what can be done to children

to gratify adults distorted sexual perversions.

 

The majority of people in the US have NO idea what sick people are capable of doing

and how inconsequential the realities of 'consent' or 'age appropriateness' is for them.

 

It isn't about SEX, per se.

It's about CONTROL.

Its about FEAR.

 

As more and more of the Epstein files get released, it's like being back in the ER,

and the pain these children felt is very palpable and real to me.

 

The lies, the denials and the minimization by the accused or implicated is also very real;

it's straight out of the abusers handbook.

 

The reality that most of the abusers will never face justice or be held to account is also familiar;

disturbing and unjust, but familiar.

People do NOT want to believe the evil that lives in our midst.

 

We want to believe that we could pick out the sadistic perpetrators;

 that 'they' somehow look different than "us".

Here's the truth -

they don't.

They are teachers, politicians, doctors, fiances, salesmen, bankers and neighbors.

The majority of them have penises,

although females enamored by and controlled by these men 

are as capable of sexual atrocities as the men themselves. 

 

It was my job to bear witness to all of that for decades;

but there are times now when I need to turn it off 

and play while some of the country tries to catch up on the learning curve.

 

Luckily, the winter has Valentines Day in it,

there were left over skeletons from the Halloween wreaths I made - 

and I let imagination take the lead.

 

What follows is the result. 

 

Stay salty.

 

Take care of yourself, 

know when you need to step away

and try to do it without guilt.

 

You can jump back in when you're ready -

god knows this pathology isn't going anywhere.