Friday, September 30, 2011

Best advice of the week:

Resident to a medical student:

"Maybe don't say everything that comes into your head".


but come on...
where was this advice -
about 30 years ago -
for ME?

Enjoy your Friday night!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

back in the day

I'm feeling nostalgic today.

Just for a change of pace, I would like to meet a family for whom dealing with a critically ill child didn't also include:

dueling restraining orders,

the need to call Security to escort various family members out of the waiting room,

cavity searches,

reviewing the specifics of parole conditions to see if a registered sex offender can visit in a pediatric hospital even if escorted by security,

the need for DNA testing to prove who the father 'really' is

and demands for having every physical and financial need of the family met by the healthcare system: (Where's the cable TV; I need gas money; I need meal tickets for me and 8 of my closest friends; My car needs new tires and I can't take him home without them; I ran out of my prescription and I'm starting to hear the voices again)!

And my favorite? - people coming to the bedside of a dying child, screaming and crying and carrying on - and being unable to tell staff the name of the child they're there to see!

I would have LOVED to hear Obama address some of these realities in his healthcare reform bill!

Folks today have heard that all the worlds a stage - unfortunately, they think it's the set of the Jerry Springer show.

Since when is it OK to "act the fool" in every situation?

Remember the days when there was ONE set of parents; no step, half or 'play' siblings, babys daddy, babys 'other' mama, daddys mamma, daddys fathers fiancees sister...?

No, neither do I; it's been too long.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Dear God,
I don't know what place flowers have in Your Grand Plan.

Maybe they're not meant to do anything more than bring joy and pleasure to all who see them.

If that's it...

Mission accomplished!

Thank you.

Excellent work!

Dear floral manager at Dierbergs,

Thank you for thinking a $5.00 bouquet was a good idea!

You were right; it was.

Thank you!

Dear Jackson and Perkins,

If you ever have a job opening for a photographer, please let me know.

I would like nothing more than to ditch my social work gig for the chance to spend hours taking images of roses.

Just sayin'.

Monday, September 26, 2011


What is wrong with you people??

The average child gets 9-12 colds a year; that calls for chicken soup, some TLC, OTC (over the counter) Benadryl and extra nap-times.

It does NOT call for EMS and clogging up a pediatric ER with your snuffy nosed kids, leading to 2-3 hr waits - as you grow ever more pissy and whiny about how long you've been sitting there and how if you were a different color, nationality, religion, ethnic group, etc you'd have been seen faster.

Oh, and by the way - if you call EMS to bring you to the ER, make sure you have a plan for how you're going to get your sorry ass home.

Contrary to your jacked up sense of importance, we OWE you neither a ride nor a free meal!

We owe you the best, most thorough medical care we can provide - and, luckily for you, we offer that everyday- 24/7/365- to both nice people and people who are a pain in the ass.

But don't push your luck - y'all are getting on our last nerve!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

So easily amused!

Here's what a random hour in an antique mall, playing with a camera and some editing on Picnik will get you...warped mind not included.

A sure antidote to an hour spent in a nursing home
with my mother
listening to a sax player
and a guy playing his electric organ
(don't even go there)
playing 'swing' songs -
to which we were invited to sing along!

sadly, I knew most of the words!


Oh, this is just too much fun!

idea first seen here

too brief

That nothing is static or fixed,
that all is fleeting and impermanent,
is the first mark of existence.

It is the ordinary state of affairs.
Everything is in process.
Everything - every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, the animate and the inanimate - is always changing, moment to moment.
Pema Chodron

That reality is so uncomfortable for most of us that we go to extraordinary efforts to deny it.

And even when we tempt the gods and build right on ground, and under conditions, that we KNOW can't possibly sustain our creations, we're surprised, and heartbroken, when they literally get washed away.

I woke up in a panic this morning because I had a vivid dream that the house my family owned at the Jersey shore had been demolished to make way for another McMansion.

It was so disturbing to think of that cozy beloved house not being there that I woke up crying.

The funny thing is that we haven't owned it for decades.

I've already had to relinquish it to others and reconcile myself to the fact that my life is based in another part of the country.

But it gave me comfort just knowing it was there; knowing that when I return to the island, I could go and allow wonderful memories to be triggered simply by the reality of seeing it.

It's hard to accept that memories and so much of my 'reality' exist in my heart and my head and that the physical 'things' of the world are ALL temporal and am I.

Clearly the losses and changes of the past two weeks are taking a toll.

I'm taking comfort today in the Collect from last Sunday... which has long been one of my favorites - even ending up in one of my sampler designs 25 years ago!

Grant us Lord, not to be anxious about earthly things but to love things heavenly, and even now while we are placed among things that are passing away, to hold fast to those that shall endure, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Family Feud

No, not the game show.

I believe that if you don’t want to do something, then sit there and don’t do it; but don’t expect people to hand you a corn beef sandwich, wash your socks and unzip your fly for you.
Shel Silverstein

God, I love that!

And I love the man about whom I'm going to complain bitterly…
my baby brother (now in his mid 50’s).

I come from a family that is deeply flawed – insert gasp here!

My mother was a less than perfect parent – another gasp -

I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself …

As far as I can tell, this makes her about the same as the rest of flawed humanity.

No one parents like they think they will.
No one can predict what life is going to dish out.
We all do the best we can.

But if 'love' is the greatest imperative we’ve been given, then, as adults, we have to find a way to reconcile our wounds and our feelings about who inflicted them.

My brother hasn’t seen our mother in over 7 years - so please excuse my skepticism about his protestations that he ‘loves' her.

Sorry, but flowers on birthdays and a book at Christmas don’t mean jack;
they’re no substitute for 'presence'.

If you refuse to have a relationship with her, then sit there and don’t have one.
But, at least, be honest about it.

Don’t expect me to make you feel better about what you're doing - and NOT doing.

You’re not the only one frightened of the genetic component that seems to go along with Alzheimer’s.
You're not the only one who feels "conflicted" and confused.
You’re not the only one who has significant professional and personal demands on their time.
You’re not the only one who would rather be doing a million other things instead of watching her die a slow death, in small increments.

I love you but I’m stepping out of my role as the ‘big sister/ protector’ and saying, as lovingly as I can…

Friday, September 23, 2011


Some friends have suggested I might need this to get me through the next 'political season'...and, I think it's a fabulous idea!

I'm printing it out and putting it over my desk!

While I can’t avoid 2012, I figure I can keep it from making me crazy by deciding on 13 things I won’t do this election season:

1. Threaten to move to Canada if my candidate doesn’t win. (Who would do THAT?)

2. Engage in lengthy political arguments on Facebook with people I don’t even know that well.

3. Scarf down an entire bag of animal crackers while nervously watching a debate…not that this has ever happened before. (Mine would involve chocolate!)

4. Donate to a campaign.

5. Allow polls to dictate my mood.

6. Write five blog posts a week about how the Republican Party has co-opted the Christian culture to the point that the two are indistinguishable.

7. Rely exclusively on cable news for my information.

8. Rely exclusively on Jon Stewart for my information.

9. Avoid my conservative friends.

10. Get so preoccupied with the power struggles of an earthly kingdom that I forget my first allegiance is to a heavenly kingdom that expands through patience, love, mercy, and grace.

11. Assume that God is on my side or that a single vote can represent my "Christian values" to the world.

12. Let anyone convince me that I should be afraid.

13. Check Facebook on election night.

original manifesto found here.

How 'bout you?

Do you need a reminder too?