Sunday, September 25, 2011

too brief

That nothing is static or fixed,
that all is fleeting and impermanent,
is the first mark of existence.

It is the ordinary state of affairs.
Everything is in process.
Everything - every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, the animate and the inanimate - is always changing, moment to moment.
Pema Chodron

That reality is so uncomfortable for most of us that we go to extraordinary efforts to deny it.

And even when we tempt the gods and build right on ground, and under conditions, that we KNOW can't possibly sustain our creations, we're surprised, and heartbroken, when they literally get washed away.

I woke up in a panic this morning because I had a vivid dream that the house my family owned at the Jersey shore had been demolished to make way for another McMansion.

It was so disturbing to think of that cozy beloved house not being there that I woke up crying.

The funny thing is that we haven't owned it for decades.

I've already had to relinquish it to others and reconcile myself to the fact that my life is based in another part of the country.

But it gave me comfort just knowing it was there; knowing that when I return to the island, I could go and allow wonderful memories to be triggered simply by the reality of seeing it.

It's hard to accept that memories and so much of my 'reality' exist in my heart and my head and that the physical 'things' of the world are ALL temporal and am I.

Clearly the losses and changes of the past two weeks are taking a toll.

I'm taking comfort today in the Collect from last Sunday... which has long been one of my favorites - even ending up in one of my sampler designs 25 years ago!

Grant us Lord, not to be anxious about earthly things but to love things heavenly, and even now while we are placed among things that are passing away, to hold fast to those that shall endure, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

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