Saturday, September 3, 2011

Sky signs

I was crying as I left.
The people and the spiritual geography of the reservation exert a special tug on my heart that makes leaving difficult.

That tug doesn't blind me however to the realities of how hard life on the reservation can be. For all the strength and beauty I find there, there's also a level of brokenness and sadness that affects me just as deeply.

The same predawn thoughts that woke me came along with my duffle as I pulled onto the highway on a rainy morning - with a mere hint of sunrise - which faded all too quickly back into another storm front...

The pain of friends facing death, separation and alienation from partners and the pending legal consequences of impulsive behavior all rode shotgun as the miles ticked by.

I don't know about you but I think 'car time' is perfect time for praying and talking to God... and He got an ear full.

My rages were accompanied by thunder and lightening - as though I was in competition with God for who could be the most dramatic!
(I couldn't capture any lightening - there is only so much of a risk I'm willing to take - for myself and others - while driving 80 mph on wet pavement.) You're welcome.

After one massive clap of thunder as I just finished screaming at Him that I got it - there would always be storms; every life had darkness; we needed those times to clear the air; we needed to just keep going and get through it, sometimes pushing on but sometimes hunkering down and weathering it out in safety blah, blah, blah... I then added that it wouldn't hurt, ya know, during the darkness to get a clearer sign that He was still there.

We didn't have the benefit of the vision of His total plan - and then I pressed my luck - "How 'bout a sign you hear me?"

Hand to God, within seconds of my tirade, a hole opened up overhead revealing blue sky and sun! Frickinunbelievable!

Should have known you can't 'out drama' God!
He totally wins!

The 'window' closed up and darkness descended again within 3 minutes...

although the sky was fairly dramatic for the rest of the trip.

do you see the eye too?
The tears were gone however.
I'd been given a gift I couldn't ignore.

I have it on good authority that everything I worried about is in better hands than mine!

And this scene was waiting for me when I pulled safely into town 13 hours later.

Thanks be to God for safe travels, signs and 'traveling mercies'*!
*courtesy of Annie Lamott!

Whether we name divine presence synchronicity, serendipity, or graced moment matters little. What matters is the reality that our hearts have been understood.
Nothing is as real as a healthy dose of magic which restores our spirits.
~ Nancy Long

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