Some thoughts

 because we've all got them!

 

Unless you've been on a social media cleanse 

and off all devices this week

 

(and good for you, keep it up!) 

 

I know you've heard about an event

at Cornell University;

 an event that took place 2 years ago.

 

A civil lawsuit was filed this week by Jane Doe 

for damages as a result of a gang rape 

at a fraternity house

in October 2024.

 

7 guys actively participated in the rape, debasement and forced drug use of a young female

when she accepted an offer

FROM A FRIEND

to come to his frat house to hang out.

 

There are reports that she had already been served 10 shots of vodka

at her own residence before going to another venue.

(I'm sorry, but you'd have to have the body and metabolism of a linebacker

to absorb and deal with that amount of alcohol! 

And, as infuriating as it is to bring that reality up,

if you think that won't be a bone of contention about HER conduct

in a trial setting 

then you're being terribly naive.) 

 

 While she was there,

a group chat went out to other members of the fraternity

informing them that "free pussy" was available upstairs  -

 

and NOT ONE of the recipients on that chat

expressed any qualms, hesitation, condemnation or objection

to either the lawfulness or morality of what was being done. 

 

No one contacted either campus security or law enforcement.

 

 As most of you know,

I was a child abuse social worker in a pediatric ER 

in an urban hospital in the Midwest for decades.

 

I have heard literally thousands of disclosures 

of sexual abuse and rape

during that time. 

 

I know the outrage,

the desire for revenge,

for "justice",

for some form of accountability 

for those who perpetrate

such offenses. 

 

I am also fairly familiar with the judicial system

and I feel confident in predicting 

that, despite all the current media coverage;

all the emails  and calls 

to whatever Cornell Administrator and Ithaca County DA

dropped the ball,

multiple times;

all the outrage and doxing of the identified perpetrators 

at their current jobs and positions;

whatever the results of the lawsuit are

(and I certainly hope she walks away with a HUGE monetary settlement),

 but I can guarantee 

the ultimate results will be unsatisfactory 

for all involved. 

 

This is a CIVIL case.

There have been NO criminal charges filed yet -

and, while that might change with further investigation,

it hasn't happened so far.

 

There has also been NO mention in the sources I've seen 

as to whether a rape kit or forensic physical exam was done in an ER

after the event for evidence collection.

(Not everyone thinks of this which is totally understandable 

but it does makes "evidence " that can be used at trial difficult.)

 

 Actually, and ironically, it may be that the "essays' they had to write 

will be the best evidence to use against them.

 

The defense attorneys job for these men  (for which he/she will get paid BIG bucks)

will be to sow 'reasonable doubt '

which sadly will include attacks on the victims credibility.

 

("You said in your original police report that you were digitally penetrated by the fingers on his left hand... but in the scenario you just described, it couldn't have been his left hand because you said he was holding his phone with that hand... was it his right hand? 

Maybe it was someone else's fingers altogether?" )

 

Cross examination is a grueling experience for any victim,

let alone one who has garnered so much attention. 

 

For the thousands of histories of sexual abuse that I was entrusted with,

I can count on both hands the number of times the perpetrators were found guilty

and sentenced.

 

Even then, 

for the survivors, 

for their families , 

for the pain and heartache of living through that experience

over and over  -

and being judged for it 

by themselves and others -

over and over,

the equation never came out in their favor.

 

Justice is simply NOT restorative,

for most of the families I'm aware of. 

 

 

Despite all the legal gymnastics that will go on,

no matter what the outcome of a civil or criminal case,

be it for 7 or 57 men...

 

does Jane Doe go back to being who she was before that frat party? 

 

Will her body forget the physical sensations of being drugged and repeatedly violated? 

 

Will she go back to being a self who believed she could meet and spend time with a friend

on a gorgeous fall evening in a protected environment of privilege and learning?

 

Will her ability to trust her judgments about who she can trust be restored? 

 

And sure,

maybe the outrage will lead to some systemic University change...

maybe coverage will make it easier for the victim at a fraternity party this weekend 

to come forward...

 but color me skeptical.

 

I'm left with one question that I can't get out of my head...

Has there EVER been a period in recorded human history 

 in which men have NOT used their penises as weapons of control? 

 

 

This is not to say that change can't happen;

but lets not ignore the magnitude of what we're up against.