Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Maybe its just me

I’m an outlier… 
and I’ve not read anything in the press yet to know if anyone agrees with me or not – 
as if that matters.

But here are my observations from the Oscars…

*It’s basically Hollywood’s Office party. 
True it’s the awards banquet
and folks are gussied up
but still, 
it’s just one industry’s night of ‘shop’ recognition. 
So how is it we’ve all been duped into watching for several interminable hours? 
(Myself included –
although I always swear it’s for the last time).

They don’t pay for their own clothes or their jewelry – 
so even all those ‘Best and Worst’ Dressed lists 
are really just awards
for who has the best stylist.

*Whose face was Goldie Hawn wearing?

*I was terribly disappointed with the job Ellen did as host. 
Really, ‘working the crowd’ and sending out for pizza – 
that’s the best you’ve got? 
Crashing Twitter by taking a selfie of you and all your cool friends 
as the highlight of the show, really? 

Has any Oscar show ever felt more like high school than last night – 
with all the cool kids hanging together
and  - ya know,
being cool?

*Can we all just agree to send “The Wind beneath my Wings ‘
 back under the boardwalk at the beaches 
where it belongs? 
It’s old, been sung to death
and not even the incomparable Bette, 
who, BTW, appeared to be wearing
a long belted version of my mother’s mumu 
could save it.

*Ditto for “Over the Rainbow”.

*If you’re going to be a presenter for a specific category, 
how ‘bout knowing HOW to pronounce
the names of the folks on your cue cards? 
Yeah, John Travolta, I’m talking to you. 
Guess it could have been worse; 
he could have just said "Here’s Elphaba".

One of my major concerns about the evening however 
is the paucity of healthy role models for young black girls – 
like my great nieces – 
who were probably staying up way too late in Chicago, 
watching because school was cancelled the next day 
and they wanted to hear ‘Frozen’.

Don’t tell me about Lupita – 
who seems to be the media darling with her lilting voice, 
lovely close cropped hair 
and beguiling charm.

At the risk of being the kid crying the Emperor has no clothes on, 
am I really the only one who sees how skeletally thin she is? 

You can see every bone in her chest,
especially in the gorgeous gown the color of sea glass. 
It might have been the look needed for playing a slave – 
but it is NOT the look for a healthy role model! 

She is as many standard deviations below normal BMI 
as Gabourey Sidibe is over – 
and those are their choices.
I can’t wait for more diversity in Hollywood – 
if for no other reason 
than it will expand the possibilities 
for what healthy women of color look like.

Raymond Chandler once wrote - 
back in 1949 - 
that "the Oscars are a manifestation of Hollywood's 
chronic case of spurious excitement over absolutely nothing."

1949 was a good year. 
I was born – 
and Raymond Chandler was spot on!


1 comment:

Mark said...

I pretty much agree with your entire rant, funny too. The Oscars are just a strange, weird scene, like a car show or something. Why do I watch....I do not know.
And Ellen...not good.