Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Upset the Fruit Basket

Y'all would have loved it!
Cracked me the fuck up!
It was quite the scene.

A gunshot wound to the chest - and the driver - the victims 'friend' - who was so 'upset' he couldn't tell OUR ER from the adult hospitals ER right next door!

Poor guy was really planning on a 'dump 'n dash' but as he was unloading the victim from the front passenger seat, one of our nurses, no doubt trying to be helpful and exhibit the healing presence of Christ, took his car and valet parked it in an undisclosed location on the parking lot, leaving the 'friend' stranded on the sidewalk, having to talk to the ER Social Worker - that would be MOI!

Not only that, but as said SW was walking to talk to him, she called 911 from her mobile work phone and had police respond before he could retrieve his keys, locate the car and get the hell out of Dodge.

It was priceless!

When family and police showed up and we confirmed that our patient was an adult, a felon and had probably just been wounded in the commission of a crime - a shoot out a few blocks away in which another 'victim' had been shot too - I was the one elected to ask his mom some of the tough questions.

Such as - does your son have a history of being a sexual deviant, as well as a drug dealer, since he has the word RAPE tattooed across his knuckles?

Mom's response: Oh no, you misread it. That's his gang tatoo; it says GRAPES. He's been in it since he was a kid.
The Crips, the Bloods, the Jets, the Sharks and the GRAPES!

PLZ, woman!
I know I'm just a middle aged white tool of the system but no way in hell does your boy belong to the Raisinets!

(Plus I'm a REAL good reader!)

She DID redeem herself in my eyes when her son came out of his drugged state long enough to be pissy and demand that I call his 'wife'.
When I had the nerve to do a reality check with his mom and discover he had no wife, he then informed me she was his girlfriend and his baby's mama.

To which his mom responded, "She might be two minutes pregnant but I don't know nothin' about it and they're not callin' your bitch; You're on VOV lock down - again!"

Mama knows best.

So do the docs who stabilized and then transferred his sorry ass to the adult side - under arrest - while they took his pal to jail too!

All in all, a good afternoon!
Definitely worth the half dozen pieces of candy the Detectives scarfed down in my office!


mufasa4inmo said...

Damn, I am so glad that drama wasn't "dropped off" at our ER yesterday! You had a much more exiciting day than myself! I dealt with several dozen grown adults "demanding" cab vouchers/bus tickets (with a sandwich tray to go) Oh and can't forget the juice cocktail to wash down the damn sandwich! My only drama yesterday was a 24 year old woman that found out she was pregnant. The "baby daddy" was murdered two weeks ago and I had to hear her sob story for an hour about how she can't raise this baby without the "wonderful" baby daddy...you know the one that was out hustling drugs and robbing innocent people...and died "innocently" and unexpected. Uh right lady, he was probably shot down after a bad drug deal! We could write a book about this...ok you could write it and the rest of the ER Social Worker's you know could provide valuable input!!!

Donna said...

a collaborative effort could be our ticket out of all ER's!! but then what would they (and I suspect we) do??