Another reality check from the universe

I would have sworn I had gotten the message by now.

I didn't think the universe would need to keep reminding me 

that I'm not in control.

Apparently karma thought I needed more reminders.

I used to think it was hard being a single parent of two young boys.

I don't know why I used the past tense -

it WAS hard being a single parent of two young boys.

 What I didn't fully appreciate  -

and couldn't fully comprehend until I got here -

is how hard it can be

to be the single parent of two adult men -

and to see them struggle with life choices;

those that occur randomly through forces over which they have no control

and those that are consequences of choices they made.

At least when they're young,

there's the illusion of control;

the feeling - however delusional - 

that you can modify circumstances to mitigate the harm.

With fully functional and independent adults,

after you've offered your thoughts and observations -

IF and when asked -

there's nothing to do but step back and watch it unfold.

THAT, my friends, is infinitely harder.

I'm holding on -

waiting for the amazing

and ordinary

again.