There's so much I don't know

  For instance:

 how a provision for a “well-regulated militia”

 in a 200+ yr old document 

gets so distorted by current legislators 

that any crazed, delusional disenfranchised male 

with money and a chip on his shoulder 

gets to buy a weapon 

created for one purpose only – 

killing the largest amount of people in the shortest amount of time – 

and how, without any apparent qualms, 

he feels free to use it. 

How someone can be so devoid of a connection to his own humanity 

that he’s able to divorce himself from the humanity of others.

How a person can be so untethered from society at large 

that he’s willing to kill in order to have someone pay attention to him. 

 The headlines this morning proclaim that authorities are looking for the motives 

behind the massacre at the high school in FLA.

My response is WHY? 

 Will his reasoning make the deaths of 17 children less painful for their families? 

Will his use or over use of video games, 

preoccupation with guns, 

undiagnosed/delayed grief from the deaths of his adoptive parents - 

and the deeper loss of being relinquished for adoption by his birth family - 

allow any one of the people now in a morgue

to take a lungful of air again? 

There is not one scintilla of knowledge we can gain from this incident 

which will prevent us from experiencing an all too similar event 

in the days or weeks to come.

The irony that this killing spree happened on 

Valentines Day AND Ash Wednesday 

is almost too much to bear.

As if any of us needed more of a reminder that

love is a fleeting concept 

and

"we are dust and to dust shall we return"

We've always lived in a broken world

and maybe its just me,

but it feels as though we're on some inexorable slide 

toward darkness and destruction

on an almost Biblical scale.

 I don’t know much 

but I DO know 

we were not created to live like this.

We all have to die, 

but we don’t have to die like this. 

I don't know what else to say.

There's so much I don't know.