Deteriorating and unstable

It's funny how often there's a theme to a week.

Funny as in ironic and poignant,

not funny as in hilarity, comedy club funny.

Our country has an egoistical, cruel, morally bankrupt 

and self absorbed little man at the helm;

one whose very house of cards is starting to crumble, 

making him feel cornered and ready to strike out 

at everyone and everything he can 

to deflect and focus attention away from his crimes.

And, because of the broken world we live in,

there's no end to the trouble he can find-

or create. 

It's not a good combination.

And it's only going to get worse,

for all of us.

I can only hope there are enough people of good conscience and courage

that when it starts to hit the fan -and it will -

they'll stand up for our future 

and for the best of the ideals upon which this country was founded. 

(Not the institutional racism, patriarchy and systemic inequality -

surely, sweet baby Jesus, we can evolve past all that some day!)

As for the people in the ruling party 

who enabled this ignorant racist,

standing by silently during all his abhorrent behavior

that endangered not only our country but the world,

who have somehow now reconnected their spines  -

to walk away,

not having the courage to deal with the mess they made -

 I hope they burn.

"Deteriorating and unstable" are also words used by my physicians this week

when describing my xray findings.

Weeks of back pain, 

with numbness and tingling down my legs,

got me a series of tests and, 

since I had decided I wasn't accepting any new diagnoses,

I was almost pleased that the results were 'merely' an escalation

of results I got several years ago,

almost.

No surprise, I'm shrinking -

because after decades of being upright, 

the spaces/joints between my vertebrae have hypertrophied. 

(Which as far as I can figure out, makes me like 70% of folks my age.

Mine however have shown a 'marked deterioration'

from just 2 years ago;

nothing like RA to speed up trouble with your joints!

And ever a 'mover and shaker',

my vertebrae are also periodically moving backward 

(posterior subluxation)

pinching nerves, impeding blood flow and causing pain.

More physical therapy,

more opportunities to practice zen and the art of aging gracefully

(which, so far, I'm flunking)

and more rationalizations for justifying getting a cleaning lady!

Deteriorating and unstable ...

the theme of the week.

I don't like it in my body 

 any more than I like it in my country. 

Taking a deep breath 

and getting on with it,

because what other choice do you have?