Road trip - again

"Sometimes we travel to get away and see something of the world. 

Sometimes we travel just to get away from ourselves. 

Sometimes we travel to convince ourselves 

that we are getting someplace".

Frederich Buechner

And, sometimes, a trip is just a trip ...

isn't it?

It felt like a 'normal' trip back to the reservation 

for the Annual Fair and Wacipi (Pow-wow)...

there was a roadside attraction -

 with friends whose political leanings cancel each other out -

keeping our country 'balanced' -

although I have far less interest in being balanced 

and think our country would be better off 

leaning farther LEFT!

 Being America, there were of course souvenirs involved - 

all of which were made in China!

A diversion to take our minds off the fact 
that we'd already been sitting for 12+ hours -

and still had several more to go 

before reaching our destination...

but arrive we finally did!

The rest of the weekend was also spent sitting - 
although in ringside chairs this time, 

with eyes saturated by color and movement...

dancing in every 'inter-tribal' dance,

coveting clothing,

enjoying typical carnival fare,

ways to throw your money away,

and avoiding vomit inducing machines - 

at least VI for someone my age 

with my balance issues.

 Hell, with MY inner ear, 

I couldn't even get on THIS ride without getting dizzy!

It was terrific to catch up with friends,

see a child we've loved since he was a toddler 

win 1st place in his division 

of Grass dancing

and loving the Dakota sky -

which is a feature of the topography 

in and of itself -

through good times 

and bad.

There is SO much in this place, 

among these people,

to which my heart responds;

a place that holds equal measures of poverty and richness

beyond most of our cultures understanding of the concepts;

and

a people who are survivors of our nations attempt at genocide.

I have wrestled, for years, 

with trying to discern if I'm being called, 

not only to return again and again to visit,

but to stay. 

Each trip brings clarity into what I love about being there

but there's still something holding me back 

from saying a 

wholehearted 

"Yes".

The process of discernment is hard and long
and, apparently,

to be continued ...

Maybe at the heart of all our traveling is the dream 

of someday, 

somehow, 

getting Home.