Sunday, March 29, 2015

90% of any effort

is showing up.

They call it work for a reason.

At times,
its not easy;
it doesn't come intuitively.

I still haven't found the rhythm of my days
and the passion that called me
at a different point in time
to a more intense,
and yes, more judgmental way
of being
is missing.

Not sure if thats the good news or the bad news;
its merely the truth.

Things still feel unsettled at work -
and my house reflects
the disorganization, messiness
and not fully engaged-ness
of my work life.

Splashes of color helped this weekend.

and led to inspiration.

Wreaths are so 2014!

The high point  of the weekend
was picking up restored windows for Art Boy;
even if they served as vivid reminders
that the boy intends to move soon out of state.

 His father designed and made them for him when he was a baby -
featuring his favorite toddler foods.
They hung in his bedroom windows until his early adolescence.

Then an accident - while throwing a ball with his brother
which, of course, had been expressively forbidden inside -
shattered several panes.

They remained at a friends house for over a decade,
waiting for her to repair them;
but her life took some nasty turns, priorities and residences changed
and I had written them off as lost
years ago.

They were found as she was getting ready to move again,
were returned to me
and promptly taken to a professional
who repaired them in 2 weeks!

I can't wait to take them to KC
and give them to their rightful owner.

These images were SO emotionally significant to Art Boy
that he created re-imagined paintings of them
which now hang over his bed.
As good as the paintings are,
they don't do the originals justice!

As exciting as Art Boys move is -
and I AM truly delighted for him and the opportunity he has -
to move from this

to this

is every bit as big an adjustment as the one I'm making.
It won't be easy for him either.

But I know us...
we'll both keep showing up
until it feels more natural.

Sometimes I wondered if I had any faith.
I sat down and thought about it.
And when I had had enough of that 
I got up
and went on my way.

And that—
the getting up and going—
was faith.

I have faith that things will turn out as they should!

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