Monday, February 1, 2016

Northern CA

I know mamas of adult children will understand...

how fiercely proud you can be when you see your child
identify and claim
his place in the world -
when passion, talent, topography and created tribe
align in harmony
to create

When you look at your child's life
as an in-outsider
and wish it contained
more money, more stability
less hardship and less uncertainty -

and then catch yourself
since your life has contained
- or not -
the very same mix
and there's little you'd change about either your life
or the lessons learned in exchange;
when you catch him in unguarded moments
and see the innate kindness, intelligence, sensibility
and capacity for insight;
qualities you wish you could take credit for
but which truly were his
by birthright

existing alongside the critical impatience you know you instilled
by mistake;

  when you tell him you will love him until the last redwood falls 
 all the while wishing you hadn't been so damned successful
at raising an independent, free spirited, confident man
who found,
and is claiming,
his place
half a country away
from where you live.
 I know mamas of adult children will understand

harboring the fear that
the distance is not coincidence.

No comments: