Remembrance

He's been dead for 33 years.

For my sons and I, that's impossible to believe.

His absence from our lives has been as defining
as his presence ever would have been.

I can safely say that not a day has passed 

in which one of us hasn't thought of him.

Back story:

Two months before GI Joe turned 5, he had a bad dream.

His father went in to comfort him, 

laid down with him on his bed, 

had a heart attack and died. 

He was 39.

Art Boy, 10, was having friends

spend the night for a sleepover
 in the living room.

It was supposed to be a 'normal' weekend.

Our definition of 'normal' changed forever that night 

and, for years, the nightmare from which none of us could awaken

continued.

We have lived so many lives
in this one lifetime since then.

But premature death
and the reordering of lives
 has shaped us all
in ways
 beyond our imagining.

Some things are not for everyone to know,
some lessons and gifts are only for those
who lived through it.

Suffice it to say,
it's been both a blessing
and
a curse.

Death changes so many things irrevocably;
its hard to fathom all that remains
in the aftermath.