Thanks, I needed that.

Dear Mr and Mrs Child Abuser

This note is just to thank you for giving me a much needed laugh yesterday afternoon.

I must admit that when the Children's Division worker brought your 2 yr old son in for an exam and I saw he was covered in bruises, I didn't expect there would be anything to smile about for the next few hours.

Just goes to show how looks can be deceiving.

I was wrong - and I'll own that; it's a posture, by the way, you might want to emulate.

In case you hadn't heard by now, we're living in a post racial world.

That means that a persons ethnicity, while noticeable, doesn't determine how they're treated or limit what they can become.

So I'm sure you can appreciate our surprise when you informed us that "we can't have you arrested for felony child abuse because you're white, upper middle class and educated".

We were, of course, happy to help you advance your knowledge of civics and legal process by proving that, actually, we can.

Your wife might also want to reconsider making disparaging remarks like "yuck...no, I'm not Hispanic " in front of a Detective who, while "she doesn't look it", is, in fact, Hispanic!

I'm not saying the remark exponentially increased your chances of being provided with "three hots and a cot", but it didn't help either.

I'm guessing your mother's already pointed out that you are your own worst enemy, right?

You both certainly provided us with some levity in an otherwise dismal day.

As soon as your son regains the ability to sit down on the ass that you beat bloody, I'm sure he'll laugh it right off; well, maybe not.

By the way, the handcuffs match your suit SO well; they really are YOU!