Possibilities

Sometimes, there are just too many!

A full day off - gorgeous weather, writing assignment for the church newsletter completed, phone off - and I couldn't decide - Botanical Garden, antique mall, Riverfront, countryside, gardening or just reading on the deck!

I hoped the decision would be made while I walked the dog and ran an errand.

Instead, on the way to the highway, I found an elementary school in another district with this on their playground.

                                     I think we get minimized here in the 'fly over' states

... the coasts seem to have more power, more mystique... 

and, while I can't deny I'm counting the days until my summer visit to #3,

thoughts about the Midwest, traveling and how lucky I feel (most days) to live here, made me decide to simply stay put - and be content.

                                             
                                                 First enjoying the artwork at the school

                         
                      and then taking another walk, enjoying all the beauty that surrounds me.

The decision made me very happy...

                                                             
                                                           It was a very good day!

K.I.S.S.

"People tend to complicate their own lives, as if living weren't already complicated enough"
Carlos Ruiz Zafon


Yet, on some days, it all seems so simple...

Instructions for living a life:

Pay attention.

Be astonished.

Tell about it.

Mary Oliver

yeah... let's go with that!

Ignore 'conventional' wisdom

Do you believe this is an actual sign from the McCarthy era?

Well, this area was teeming with 'dangerous' people this weekend - and it couldn't have led to a lovelier day!

It started with a plein air painting competition at sites all over town.
I loved seeing so many artists chose our every day locations and turn them into objects of beauty.

The courage to put your talents - and process - on display amazes me!

From watching artists in action, I was able to go to an Art Fair at a local Sculpture Park and see wonderful finished pieces by artists from all over the country.

I, of course, was drawn to the colorful and quirky!

And, I cannot lie, a couple of pieces came home with me ...  prints to benefit a dog rescue:
one for me -

and one for a friend, but don't tell - it's a surprise!

And two multi media collages by an Iowan artist whose work I've admired for years.

I love all the elements in her pieces and how symbolic they are - and self affirming.

Believe in your truth...

yes, Ma'm!

 In the small bottles are the means to do just that... a spring (for resilience), magic (pixie dust/glitter), sparks, seeds (of wisdom), softness(silver threads) and safety pins (to keep it all together)!

The message on the spoon - which stands for 'home and being fed - "It is the small things that make the greatest difference."

Love, love, love it!

Even if I had to rearrange and move pieces I already have to make room.

All in all, a perfect way to forget the past few days at work and

The other thing I observed, which made me smile, was how different the food choices were...
of course there was kettle corn... I mean, really, what would a 'fair' be without kettle corn...

but a wine tent?

Grilled eggplant panini... lobster/crawfish risotto cakes... not exactly deep fried twinkies territory!

It couldn't have been a prettier day!

artist, Marilyn Bradley

I swear...

I have never seen so much craziness packed in to so short a period of  time!
And it just keeps on coming...

* a 14 yr old who, when asked about the circumstances of her pregnancy, proudly stated she was a surrogate! She got pregnant "with a turkey baster full of spunk" given to her by a girlfriend who was paying her $300.00 to carry a baby for her because the other girl was too busy with spring sports at school to have her boyfriends baby... WTH?

I can't decide if she's a total whack job - or the next candidate for "The Apprentice"!
Wait, maybe those are the same thing!
Let me just tell you, every person in the ER who has struggled with infertility was ready to spit tacks! 
They're paying thousands of hard earned dollars for IVF - and this chick swears all it took was a turkey baster??!

* a father who fought with his ex-girlfriend  about not having his son around her lesbian sister and her partner  - and was so mad about what his kid might be exposed to that he shot her in the head, shot her mother in the head and set two fires in the house, leaving his child and moms other kid to be burned alive in the fire.

Really??? You don't want your son exposed to lesbianism - but you apparently don't give a damn that he died from smoke inhalation??

* a 13 yr old runaway who comes in claiming to have been raped - by the same man who allegedly raped her last year - and, because we always have to treat any allegation as true even if they stink like last weeks fish dinner, countless staff hours (and our tax dollars in healthcare) were wasted as we did a rape kit and exam for an event that she immediately backs down from when Sex Crimes Detectives are called!  Turns out rather than an abduction and rape, it was a two day stay-cation "with benefits" over at her new boyfriends house - who's also 13.
Since this is the third time she's filed a false Police report, Detectives decided to charge her for that crime instead and have charged both her and her boyfriend with statutory rape since they're both under the age of consent!

Can I just ask - where the hell were his parents?
Did you not notice your son had someone up in his room for two days??

God, some people are totally oblivious!

 and * a 2 mos old 'near drowning' transferred from an outside hospital, now dying in the PICU - only a complete history revealed the kid was never in water at all; he was simply in a sling suspended over the baby tub. With old and new bleeds in his head, he was simply an abusive head trauma who happened to get wet as dad tried to revive him by splashing cold water on his face.

Honestly, if dad said the baby was in the garage, would you keep calling him a car?
Wish everyone would STOP charting he's a near drowning!

The Critical Stress Debriefing session we all had the other night helped, but it was just the start I needed for self care.

I'm taking a few days off, taking my camera and heading out to the countryside ...
I can guarantee there'll be antiquing and poking around in gardens and vacant barns.

Yup, that's the direction I'm headed in!

It's a dogs life...

The day of the bobcat and repair of the water main was NOT Pearls favorite day:

the noise, the coming and going in the house of strange men...

all very unsettling.

I could see the tension in her body as she tried to continue with her normal routine... of sleeping!

And, if this isn't an example of "if I close my eyes and pretend they're not there, maybe they'll go away, I don't know what is!!

Trust me, Pearl, I try that all the time and it doesn't work!!

She finally realized that closing your eyes does NOT mean you're asleep.

Taking her for a walk and seeing some beauty helped remind her the neighborhood was still the same, even if there was change at our house!

After watching me have a snack (ritz cracker, slice of strawberry and dollop of fat-free cool whip) 

and a simple change of position...

and life was good again!

Would that it was so easy for us, right?

Oh wait... maybe it is!

Someone forgot to put out the sign

So, while other people were out enjoying the 'Super Moon', we, in the ER, were dealing with a super nightmare.

I'll spare you the details - even if I have the images playing on an endless loop in my head.

The gist of the scenario was the double homicide of two adults with a fire set to cover the evidence - which led to the smoke inhalation death of a baby and a toddler fighting for her life in the Intensive Care unit.

 How does one person get to create such havoc, loss and pain in the lives of SO many other people?

It's hard for me to reconcile that the same force that created so much beauty either created, or allows, so much ugliness. Figuring out the 'why' of it all is WAAY above my pay grade!

Hey God, just an FYI - freedom of choice? - BIG mistake!!

 Headed back to deal with the aftermath...

Weekend wish

May your weekend be filled with time to rediscover the solitude you crave, 

the laughter you miss 

and the gifts you forget you hold in your hands.

May you value work, rest, joy and heartache 

as necessary parts of living.

As you sit in your house - 

between her walls, 

beneath the roof that sits firmly above your head - 

open your heart to the quirky delight of this life within her 

and consider all the ways 

you've made her home.

Enjoy the weekend, friends; 

I know I will.

Emily Freeman

indecision

I can't decide whether it's enviable or pathetic...

this mom went from grieving to acceptance in about 60 seconds flat!

Her 7 month old baby was found unresponsive in bed.
EMS was called and, by the time they reached our building, she was saying "if he isn't breathing, it's ok; let him alone; he's gone".

When told an autopsy would have to be done to find out why her baby died, moms only reply was "why? because that's what Allah wanted. Allah gives and Allah takes away."

English was her second language.
America, not her country of origin.
Death is common in the refugee camps in which she lived prior to coming to this country.

I get that.

What I don't get is how much death you have to see before you become inured to it ...
or how much effort it must take to hold back all those feelings.

It was a no good, very bad, horrible way to start our day - not to mention hers!