O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum ...

 

These are a few of my favorite things

 

A needlepoint pillow I made

YEARS ago

and several Santas and trees

I made from antique chocolate molds

And 2 Santas from my childhood

So much to enjoy and cherish.

There's no place like home for the holidays

Looking around my house this time of year,

I see lots of things;

cherished things,

things handed down,

and newer items purchased for my own enjoyment; 

items to pass along, 

at some point,

 to another generation.

But more than 'things',

I see people I love;

friends and family I was with 

when Christmas items were acquired,

memories of life shared

 and

gifts given and gratefully received

(like an angel with her 'big girl panties' on!)

and a Santa puppet that we're sure needs to be tested 

for Graves disease.

A truck from my sons childhood brings back memories -

of Christmases spent together.

and realization of how far we've all traveled since that time.

And, of course,

doesn't everyone have a spotted reindeer head?

I have several choices for a Nativity

but this is the one that made the cut this year.

There was something very appealing about taking scraps, 

left overs,

 and combining them

with the most ordinary of household objects

from my childhood,

wooden clothespins,

to create something which points to the holy.

The reality that the aged clothespins are differently colored,

creating the effect of a biracial couple,

was definitely a plus.

As my Pearl reminds me

Good to remember!

MGUS

no, not a Disney character...

but the hematological disorder

also known as 

Monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance ;

it's either that or "smoldering myeloma".

While the abnormal results of my blood work are still being discussed 

as to their classification,

the lesions in my skull have conclusively been labeled as benign 

and I am more pleased than I can say 

to state 

I do NOT have multiple myeloma!

It felt like a benediction to hear the oncologist say

"For some folks, including you, it's normal to be abnormal!"

No one will ever convince me the outcome is not directly related 

to the power of intercessory prayer!

I have an over active immune system that MUST be calmed down...

and, to that end,

 I'll be starting new medication at the end of the month,

but, it seems God isn't quite ready for me yet!

I can't tell you the relief I feel.

I've apologize to all for the drama of the past few weeks;

I was acting in good faith 

on bad information.

And, as impatient as I was with waiting for the work up to be complete,

it's behind me now.

I'm concentrating on enjoying the Silent Nights of the season

and practicing gratefulness for all the love that surrounds me!

Thanks be to God!

Like I said,

 

Perfection.

Antidote

When I need to get away from the noise
in my head,
relax
and just remember
the beauty of the world,

 I only have to look at one of Gods most perfect creations:

a rose.

Then I remember

the beauty of unfolding,

at different rates

in varied patterns;

with depths never fully revealed

or explored.

Perfection.

Hanging on ...

through the ups and downs.

The oncologist didn't throw any colleague under the bus

but he DID walk everyone back from the brink.

Last week,

during my first visit,

he declared he wasn't ready to say I had multiple myeloma -
yet.

There may have been a celebratory champagne 

and steak dinner last weekend

in response.

He did however order more tests,

more xrays -

and, true to form, 

when you go looking for trouble,

you're bound to find it.

But I've learned my lesson;

I'm not saying anything this time 

until I see it in writing - 

so I have another visit with the oncologist 

later this week.

As Roseanne Rosanna Dana used to say

"It's always something"

In the meantime,
I'm enjoying my tree
(and not even letting the crooked star bother me;
well, maybe a little)

 and creating a Christmas card
for clinic.

I might not be able to change what's going on inside my body,
assuming of course that someone will figure it out -
and hopefully soon -
but I can still control whether I see the beauty and promise of the season.

Yes, indeed,
that I can do!

Pretest

Here's what I know about multiple myeloma:

1. It's a form of blood cancer that forms in your bone marrow. Normal plasma cells transform into malignant myeloma cells and produce large amounts of an abnormal protein called monoclonal protein (or M protein) which then interferes with normal blood production by crowding out the 'good' blood cells.
2. Most people are diagnosed with it in their mid-60's.
3. Multiple myeloma accounts for only 1.5% of all newly diagnosed cancer patients.
4. 24,000 people will be diagnosed with it in 2015.
5. Men are diagnosed more frequently than women.
6. Blacks are diagnosed twice as often as whites.
7. I usually love being an 'outlier'; this time, not so much.
8. Geraldine Ferraro had it. She died from it.
9. Tom Brokaw has it. He's temporarily in remission. He also has a medical team of doctors at Mayo Clinic and Sloan Kettering; a spouse of 50+ years, an apartment in NYC, a ranch in Montana and more money than God.
10. I have multiple myeloma.
11. I am not Tom Brokaw.
12. The 5 year survival rate is 47%.
13. It's not curable. They say it's 'manageable'.

I suspect in the weeks and months to come, 

I'll learn more than I'd ever hoped to know about this disease.

If cancer is going to inhabit my body, 

in whatever form, 

for the rest of my life,
there's a part of me that thinks

I should make peace with it. 

Maybe at some point I'll have to.

Right now, 

I'm all for kicking its ass.