On the road back to myself

After my last session with my personal trainer,

I was shaky, tired 

and definitely in touch 

with muscle groups I hadn't heard from
in ages...

but the odd thing is, 

I felt I was more 'myself' 

than I had been in years - 

whatever that elusive, 

nebulous concept of selfhood 

means.

Maybe it was simply being more connected, 

more aware 

and 

more relaxed;

more the way my body felt 

at younger stages of my life.

It was great - although don't tell Bob 

(here after referred to as my PT -Personal Trainer) 

or I'm sure he'll make me do more next time!

Since then
I've been flooded with a sense of gratitude

that I did what I had to do 

to get through 30+ years -
even if I'm paying a price now -

and that I'm finding my way out of it!

All movement requires strength and faith, 

no matter how big or small it may look on the outside -

whether you're stepping into the unknown

or stepping into the same thing as yesterday.

It's true, faith is often required to leave a job.

But faith is also required to stay at a job.

Giving thanks to God tonight

that I've been given the strength

to do both.

With profound gratitude for all the wonderful folks 

who will remain

and carry on when I'm gone.