Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Camino Lessons and life update

If walking the Camino taught me anything
its that:
A) there are NO coincidences 
B) I am NOT in charge!

The Camino also taught me
that the gifts and skills I've been given 
can be used in many contexts and situations.

I don't believe there's only ONE location
to which I could be called
- and in which I could be used -
quite happily!

I'm willing to believe that God will place me where He sees fit;
that my future is in His hands.

I know there are many ways to serve Him.

It won't surprise anyone who knows me
to hear that
I've been praying for a sign 
about 'what comes next'

The institutional church, 
like all institutions, 
moves slowly;
too slowly for my taste
and my admittedly
desire for certainty.

The last communication I had with the National Deployment Office
was weeks ago;
and, as I discovered walking the Camino,
I frequently need reminders that I'm on the right path
 more frequently than the Universe 
is generally willing to supply them.

I totally understand that the person in charge of missions deployments
has a job which takes him out of the office more often than he's in
visiting missioners around the world.

Contrary to what I might like, 
he is NOT sitting in his NYC office, 
following up on leads, 
working non stop toward a placement 
for one elderly retired lady in St Louis!

I tried not to be unreasonable;
I didn't expect a definitive offer - 
but an email would have been nice, 
a call that more information would be coming,
an update...

So, I sent him an email -

and then I prayed - 
apologetically -
to an equally busy God...
for something,
for some indication of what He wanted me to do.

And last week, after days of sleepless nights
(yes I hear it but I'm still going with the description)
and whining intercessions
that I'm sure caused God to do a palm slap to his forehead, 
accompanied by an eye roll,
I got a call!

About a 2 year grant position
in the same hospital from which I escaped
retired 8 mos ago.

The chance to work in a completely different capacity
with a team of people I already know, trust and respect.

The only problem was,
it wasn't what I'd envisioned;
it wasn't what I thought I was being called to;
it was a future, albeit a short term one,
that didn't look like I thought it would.

Let's count the number of 'I's" in there, shall we?
And then lets do a reality check 
and remember who's in charge!

Funny though,
in the 5 days since 'the call',
I've gone from disappointed to excited,
resigned to grateful
I'm convinced
that,  early next year,
 when I start working full time at the hospital again,
 I'll be exactly where God intends me to be -
for God knows what reason!

In case you hadn't heard,
there's plenty of brokenness
and work still to be done in St Louis.
I don't need to travel (yet) to places in a desert
while I'm living in the midst of one -
even if the desert doesn't look the way
I'd envisioned one to look

Some times 'call'
doesn't look like you thought it would either.

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