Remember when ...

life was simpler.

When you could just hang out until a great idea came to you?

One that was SO good, 

you could hardly believe 

no one had ever had it before?

Remember when just throwing grass made you happy?

Me either...

but I got a reminder today at the Fair!

And that made me VERY happy!

Give me a break!

I swear the Nebraska PD are on to me!

 I drive to New Jersey, 

Chicago,

Wisconsin

and Iowa all the freakin time

and nothing!

But, for some bizarre reason,

nothing at all to do with the fact 

that I drive 20 miles over the speed limit,

I get pulled over every single time I'm in NB!

Hey pal, I'm NOT going to go as slow as your tractors...

I'm hauling ass from two states away

and still have one more to go after y'all; 

My sciatic nerve is killing me 

from sitting on my ass for 12 hours 

and I haven't peed since the eastern part of Kansas!

It's getting dark.

There are NO people on the road, only three skunks,

two turtles

and an armadillo - 

 all of which survived my driving skills ...

what's the problem?

Oh, only a warning and not a ticket?!

That keeps my 'permanent record' 

spotlessly clean 

as you were surprised to discover

 when you ran my record...

thank you Officer;

have a nice day!

Returning

Leaving in the morning to go back to the reservation

in South Dakota;

to be with friends, 

attend the Rodeo,

Pow-wow and Fair;

to join them as they celebrate

their Nations victory over federal troops;

a fight the Lakota know as 

The Battle of Greasy Grass

and which the wasicu (us white folks)

know as Custer's Last Stand.

There are no words that can tell 

the hidden spirit of the plains, 

that can reveal its mystery,

 its melancholy, 

and its charm.

MY wish for you all

is that you get to experience it,

first hand,

 at least once

in your lifetime.

I'll have my computer with me

and will try to post 

some images,

if not lucid thoughts,

while I'm there.

Oh wait, 

you don't come here for lucid thoughts

anyway,

what was I thinking?

What part of PEDIATRICS don't they understand?

Hand to God, 

I was called to the clinics 

yesterday afternoon

by Security 

to 'deal with' an 80 + year old lady, 

a  small frail woman, 

wrapped in two afghans 

and confined to a wheelchair.

I was told she had dementia

and that no one had been with her 

since about 9am that morning.

After talking with her,

for about 20 minutes, 

in my best

"I remember this phase with my mother" voice,

I got her name, a rough address

and a phone number -

even if she couldn't remember

to whom it belonged.

Dementia, maybe;

scared, definitely;

embarrassed, beyond measure

and crying to go home.

Calling the number,

I got someone who said she was the woman's daughter.

To say she was surprised

I 'found' her

was an understatement...

apparently she'd dropped her mother off for the day 

"because she needed a break"

and she knew she'd be OK in a hospital.

Who does THAT???!

Good grief!

She confessed she hadn't planned 

to come back and get her, but she would now.

I assured her she didn't need to hurry.

I've never had to have someone 

from the ELDER Abuse Hotline

respond to the hospital before...

first time for everything!

They were waiting for the 'daughter' when she walked in.

Not the day any of us planned!

Sad to be reminded 

life can be lousy 

at both ends of the life spectrum!

Reason # 110 WICWTR: Folie a deux

(for the uninitiated WICWTR= Why I can't wait to retire)

Folie a deux - it's not just a vineyard in California.

(Although it's an inspired name for a vineyard owned by two psychiatrists).

 
No, it's a recognized psychiatric disorder

in which delusions, distortions

and warped world perceptions 

are shared by two people.

Generally people who are isolated,

in constant contact with each other

and resistant to outside forces - 

like reality.

Like a father and his 8yr old son:

homeless,

traveling from state to state,

'home-schooled' 

(which presupposes there's a home in which to school a child); 

I'm not sure

 a tent pitched under a bridge qualifies;

basically off the grid.

A family which would have stayed off the grid

if the child hadn't started running on the highway, 

playing dodge-'em

with semis.

A child with NO sense of personal boundaries, 

appropriate behavior 

or physical danger

but a profound sense of being followed 

and tracked by the FBI. 

Dealing with him and father turned into 

an 8 hour ordeal - 

ending only when we donned tin foil hats to

block the tracking waves

and got the kiddo admitted to psych 

and father returned to his monitoring station under the bridge.

Oh, did I mention that folie a deaux

can morph into

folie a plusieurs?

(Madness of many).

For some of us, it was a short trip!

Sunday Wisdom

do more than exist,

live.

do more than touch,

feel.

do more than look,

observe.

do more than read,

absorb.

do more than hear,

listen.

do more than listen,

understand.

do more than think,

ponder.

do more than talk,

say something.

John Rhoades

It's a sign, I tell you...

I know it's not a great picture,

but surely you can see it...

in the freezer where I store my Peeps

(of course I have some in hiding; 

I'm already working on next years 'crop' of 

Lenten photos!)

Anyway - 

do you see the ice formation hanging right above the box? - 

it's an ice Peep!

Score!

And here's poor Oreo - 

back home s/p surgery.

Shaved belly with staples and stitches

and shaved leg where her IV was.

Not exactly her perky self...

recovery will take a while.

Craptastic week

When this girl doesn’t even touch food, 

you know there’s a problem!

 No, not me… her. 

Although, it could have been me! 

 Don’t be embarrassed for making that connection first! 

 I came home Tuesday to piles of dog vomit in the dining room; 

the largest with undigested food; 

then concentric smaller ones with just bile.  

(You DO read this blog for a touch of getting real, don’t you?) 

An interior, dog owner version of crap crop circles. 

 And when Oreo didn’t go near her food that night – 

or the next morning - 

I knew she was the culprit.

A quick trip to drop her off at the Vets for the day yesterday 

so they could diagnose her 

led to confirmation of my diagnosis – 

intestinal blockage. 

Visions of the doc 

pulling a pair of my granny panties 

out her gut 

had me temporarily mortified 

but a three hour surgery 

actually discovered 

pieces of a chew toy, 

fishing line, 

grass 

and animal bone. 

A bezoar of the bizarre – 

considering I don’t own any fishing tackle – 

where the hell did THAT come from? 

 It’s only money…

the refrain I keep hearing 

over and over again –  

and, of course, everyone is right; 

it is. 

Only, truth be told, 

I can think of a multitude of other ways 

I’d rather spend $2000.00!

 Almost 2000 other ways, in fact! 

Damn.

Whas up?

No partying at our house...

one of us had surgery this week.

Details to follow - 

I want one!

With this ring.

It will be his 'something old'...

 the wedding band I gave to his father

 40+ years ago 

will be recycled,

 have updated engraving

and be used in November.

 It doesn't have to be re-sized...

it fits him perfectly.

He couldn't be happier - 

to have some 'concrete' symbol of his Dad in his daily life

and to finally have grown as big as his father.

No matter how many times I tell him 

he's exceeded his father-

in height, weight, stature, and character - 

the ring seems to have made it 'official'

in ways I don't pretend to understand.

These two fuzzy pictures, 

from days gone by, 

are framed together 

and have long been 

GI Joe's favorites.

They make me smile too -
at least,
through my tears.

Praying

It doesn't have to be

the blue iris. it could be

weeds in a vacant lot, or a few

small stones; just

pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try

to make them elaborate, this isn't

a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which 

another voice may speak.

Mary Oliver

I'm a simple girl...

who doesn't think a few hours or so 

on a Saturday morning, 

schlepping around to see other peoples old junk 

should have to involve issues of 

socio-sexual-political correctness.

I've been eager to explore a new antique mall in town - 

well, new to me...

truth be told, 

I don't get to the industrial part of town 

all that often.

Pulling up outside the mall this morning, 

I noticed the unmistakable rainbow flag, 

signifying the gay community...

and, immediately, 

my mind began to race

as to its implications...

Is the mall owned by a gay person?

Are all the vendors gay?

Do they only sell antiques to gay buyers?

Only sell items from old gay peoples estates?

Good thing I was shopping with a friend - 

she could be my shield - 

cover? -

bitch?

Really,

thinking that hard 

was NOT on the agenda 

for a Saturday morning 

in the Lou!

Glad we went in though,

they had some great, and different, stuff

and, as always,

there are just SO many ways to go wrong 

with poodle decor!

Money did change hands.

The hour spent poking around

made me as happy as seeing zinnias!

Like I said,

I'm a simple girl!

Life

This reminder brought to you 

by the brilliant artist, 

Brian Andreas 

of Story People

Kindred soul

I'm trying not to take it personally 

that, when a co-worker

saw a box of notes cards

entitled

Bitter with Baggage

Seeks the Same

she immediately thought of me!

I'd be more upset

if I could stop smiling;

they're

brilliant!

Clearly the artist behind them,

Sloane Tanen,

is a kindred spirit!

Makes me feel a little less 

weird...

a priceless gift 

in and of itself

Baby pool

You know the guessing games 

(okay, betting pools) 

families get into when a baby is expected - 

the date the baby will be born, 

what it will weigh, 

the gender 

(if the couple is going old school 

and not finding out ahead of time) 

etc?

Our family is playing a new game called...

 When will this sweet pea get a name?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile,

summer goes on.

including plans for squeezing in 

one more road trip 

before Labor day

back to a favorite place!

Work with my personal trainer continues

(a sentence I NEVER thought I'd say!)

and will increase in the fall - 

might as well enjoy 

going only once a week

for as long as I can!

That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?

completion

Oh, come on...

You knew I'd go there!

 Not that I live in New York and have any stake, at all,
 in the mayoral race -

but all the public debate
about whether this guys wife
should stay married to him
 or not 

is getting on my last nerve!

Whether he's morally
or intellectually
fit to lead one of the major cities
in this country
is certainly a valid point
open for debate.

It's also, ultimately,
 a decision citizens of New York
get to make;
not anybody else.

But
whether Huma decides
to stay married to Tony
is not anybody's business
but theirs.

Do any of us live our lives,
or conduct our relationships
by Gallop poll?

Is it a relationship I'd want?
Hell, no!

Is their marriage an example
I'd want my children
to emulate?
Also a big fat NO!

Then again,
 I hope I've taught my kids
well enough
that they already know
public figures -
politicians,
celebrities,
entertainers
etc -
aren't role models!

One of the wonderful consequences
of true 'liberation'
is being free enough
to make your own mistakes -
and live with the consequences.

No matter the deal she's made with the devil,
for whatever reason,
it's her deal!

Just be thankful
it's not yours!

A thought for the weekend!

"If we are facing in the right direction, 

all we have to do is keep on walking."

Buddhist proverb.

'nuff said

Yup... some weeks are just like that! 

 thanks Story People for summing it up so nicely!