Friday, August 19, 2011

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment".
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I haven't fallen into the trap in a long time - although it's harder than it would seem to avoid it.
I try SO hard to stay in the moment; to accept who I am and where I am in my life.
No regrets; no energy spent wishing I was someone, or somewhere, else.

Does anybody else find this as tricky as I do?

All forms of media can serve as triggers when my insecurities are intent on informing me that other people are having more fun, making more money, leading more exciting lives or making more of a difference; that some folks out there have clearly found all those elusive secrets for being funnier, thinner, more popular and, therefore more significant than me!

That is, after all, the basis of our consumer society... advertisers hoping that in order to fill the 'holes', the self perceived inadequacies we all feel within ourselves, we'll believe their fantasies that there's a particular product - some car, shoe, clothes, makeup, piece of furniture etc - that will finally make us feel complete!

Yet, as much as I know that's all nonsense, there are still nights, even now with my advanced age and level of book learnin', when I feel 'less than'... when I'm sure my single state, or a momentary state of unhappiness - based on a myriad of reasons - is because I'm simply not good enough to deserve what everyone else has.

So imagine my surprise to hear from someone I've known for over 30 yrs that, to her, I'm livin' the dream!

From her standpoint - one of being married for decades, acquiescing her needs, tastes and wishes to being part of a couple, within a family of five - my freedoms - to live as I choose, in a house I picked, to decorate and furnish however I want, having the freedom to make plans, take trips and spend my time in the manner I choose - is her idea of heaven.

That's when it hit me; the trouble with comparisons is they're not based at all on reality.
It's all surface.

And I know that; it's a lesson I've learned before.

Clearly part of who I am is a remedial learner!

I tried not to let that depress me even more.

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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