A Sioux Story

The Creator gathered all of Creation and said 

"I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it.

It is the realization that they create their own reality."

"The eagle said, "Give it to me, 

I will take it to the moon."

The Creator said, "No. 
One day they will go there and find it."

The salmon said, "I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean."

"No. They will go there too."

The buffalo said, "I will bury it on the Great Plains."

The Creator said, "They will cut into the skin of the Earth 

and find it even there."

Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth,

and who has no physical eyes 

but sees with spiritual eyes,

"Put it inside of them."And the Creator said, 

"It is done."

Hair today...

same as yesterday.

Back in the day, 

before I embraced my curliness and my grey,

hair care was laborious;

time consuming and, for me, an exercise in futility.

When you have naturally curly hair,

no matter how large the rollers, 

two seconds after it dried and you took it down,

any humidity over 10% would undo ANY attempt 

to straighten it.

I lived near the ocean...

how often do you think the humidity was below 10%?

So, for those special occasions, 

it wasn't unusual to use a wig...

everyone had one.

Of course I wore one for our rehearsal dinner -

I was going to have my hair done for the wedding the next day 

and I wasn't going to go through 

bristly curler hair torture
two days in a row
 for nothing!

So, I slapped on my wig -

and off I went!

I thought of that this weekend.

OMG...

where have the last 44 years gone?

The sign above me says it all...

I'm officially an antique!

How do you think my son would feel 

if I showed up at HIS rehearsal dinner

wearing a wig?

Might just want to save my grey curliness for the wedding!

Fall color...

except this scene is NOWHERE in a 100 mile radius of where I live.

This has been an exceptionally boring and colorless fall, so far.

The result, or so the experts claim, of several years of drought and no hard freeze.

Yes, there have been impressive individual trees

but, by and large,
things are either still green -
or brown and dying looking;
leaving some of us to look for color elsewhere!

Okay, I admit it...
I would have gone antiquing
even if the fall foliage had been spectacular!

Because nothing says fall like
owls (made of old cutlery and used dishware...

or dead animals.

I'm a serious believer in "to each his own"

but, truly, whose decor lends itself to a 

dead squirrel draped over a branch!

Oh well, 

at least it was sweater weather!

I swear I don't get it

Can someone explain to me: 

why so many media folks 

have their panties in a twist 

about the Affordable Healthcare website having glitches? 

I mean, seriously, 

have they ever used any other insurance company’s – 

or governmental – 

website before?  

Do they operate perfectly? 

Hell, no; 

you expect problems with ANY computer program, 

especially a new one. 

Our healthcare system rolled out electronic charting years ago 

and we’re STILL updating and perfecting it 

because we can’t get it to do exactly what we want! 

And the fact that millions of people 

crashed it by logging on to get information 

and sign up for coverage 

should say something 

about how desperate people are for coverage 

and how eager they are to participate!

That doesn’t make the program bad – 

it makes it more successful 

and more needed 

than anyone anticipated. 

I remember when George W Bush was re-elected to the White House

 and so many distraught Americans logged on to 

the Canadian Government website
looking for information on how to emigrate 

that their system crashed!

Was that an indication that Canada wasn’t working? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Can someone explain to me:

Why my clients lie about things that are so easily checked out?

Do they think staff from investigating agencies don’t talk to each other? 

WHY would they say the police had been in their apartment at 2AM, 

trashing  the place, 

looking in closets, drawers 

and questioning the kids 

about the 4 mos old baby 

falling off the bed and getting a skull fracture and broken ribs? 

First of all,Mom, they’d have needed a search warrant. 

Secondly, they don’t go out at that hour on abuse cases 

unless the victim is a near or impending fatality. 

Third, the police wouldn’t have questioned your kids; 

police have been accompanied by Children Division staff 

and THEY would have spoken to the kids – 

and they don’t go out after midnight anyway –

unless there’s an imminent risk to the kids at home. 

Do I believe your house looked like it was trashed 

and you didn’t have time to clean 

before Children’s Division was coming over on a home visit? 

Do I believe you needed an excuse for why it looked that way? 

Do I believe your boyfriend tore it apart 

to make sure he got rid of all the drugs he had hidden 

before that home visit? 

Yes, yes and yes. 

It was pretty easy to check call logs, Dispatch records 

and videos from the nearest  bank 

and figure out that you’d invented 

the whole – the police raided my house - thing. 

Very inventive though –
especially the part about feeling like YOU were the true victim here… 

really? 

Did you have a skull fracture too?

No, I didn’t think so.

Don't you wish some people just knew when to shut up?

Just sayin'

I’ve heard it once too often lately… 

and it’s not like I haven’t heard it before – 

LOTS of befores come to think of it. 

I can usually shake it off…

 just one more thing people say without thinking, 

without testing it out to see if there’s any validity to it at all.

Not today though;

today it pissed me off - 

and even if I didn’t respond in person – 

which would have been hard since it was in a post I read in another blog – 

I need to respond; 

to get my thoughts out of my head before it implodes. 

(And the reality is, come to think of it,

 I usually hear it from some of the most privileged women I know!) 

If one more person says (or writes) the equivalent of…

” I know what it’s like to be a single parent because… 

 "my husband travels internationally and is gone a lot" 

"Works too hard and is gone in the evening"

"Was never there to help out with the kids soccer schedules 

(or play dates or band rehearsals or doctors appointments" etc.)

 Or any variation 

of any of the above – 

and believe me the permutations are myriad – 

I’m not responsible for what I’ll do! 

Here’s the truth – 

from a single parents perspective –

No, you damn well don’t. 

If you’re in a committed relationship, 

the absence of your partner at convenient times 

still means you have a shoulder to cry on 

(or someone to rage at) 

about having to carry the responsibility 

‘all by yourself’ – 

single parents don’t. 

If you’re in a committed relationship 

and your partner is working too hard, 

that generally means there’s a paycheck 

to which you are entitled or granted access

as a result of that time away – 

single parents don’t have another paycheck behind them

no matter how many hours they work. 

If you’re actively co-parenting 

and ‘the other parent’ can’t be there for school events, 

your child still at least has one parent 

representing the support of his/her parental unit – 

single parents don’t have a representative as a fill in – 

if you’re not there, 

your kid has no one. 

If your child gets sick at school,

 or in the middle of the night, 

even if you’re the one who has to decide 

when to take them to the ED vs waiting for the doctor’s office to open up, 

to retrieve them from school or stay home with them, 

you’ve at least got someone to run those decisions and options by – 

single parents don’t. 

If, when you’re deathly ill yourself, 

your first panicky, fever induced thought isn’t 

that your poor kids will go into foster care if you die, 

then you have NO idea what it’s like to be a single parent. 

Only when you’re making ALL the decisions, 

ALL the money needed to keep ALL of you afloat, 

taking ALL the risks and consequences of those decisions, 

and providing ALL the support, 

with absolutely NO fall back 

or support for yourself 

can you possibly know what it’s like 

to be a single parent. 

And, while my sons and I are safely on the other side 

of many of those childhood issues, 

I still have nightmares and wake with cold sweats, 

remembering the weight of those days; 

it is NOT a place I would wish on anyone.

You have NO idea. 

Be grateful you don’t.

For Our World

We need to stop.

Just stop.

Stop for a moment . . .

before anybody

says or does anything

that may hurt anyone else.

We need to be silent.

Silent for a moment . . .

Before we forever lose

the blessing of songs

that grow in our hearts.

We need to notice.

Just notice.

Notice for a moment . . .

before the future slips away

into ashes and dust.

Stop, be silent, and notice . . .

In so many ways, we are the same.

Our differences are unique treasures.

We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts

To nurture, to offer, to accept.

We need to be.

Just be.

Be for a moment . . .

kind and gentle, innocent and trusting

like children and lambs,

never judging and vengeful.

And now, let us pray,

differently, yet together,

before there is no earth, no life,

no chance for peace. 

Mattie Stepanek

Just guessin, but...

I'd say bachelor weekend is going well!

Suspect this

was a factor in the celebrating!

Headed to World Series, baby!
Just another October in the Lou!

Potpourri

Just ‘cause we haven’t had one in a while and I have lots of things roiling around in my head…

 Well, the inmates came close to burning down the asylum – 

but they’ve been temporarily shocked into submission. 

Just like being hit with a stun gun though, it won’t last. 

Anyone who thinks we won’t be going through
the same pathetic psychodrama 

around the first of the year 

is as delusional as they are. 

I mean, really, have you heard some of their post debacle rhetoric … 

“we fought the good fight”, 

“Once again Washington isn’t listening to the will of the people”… 

Actually pal,
the people DID express their will to Washington –
last November.  

We re-elected a President – 

and he wasn’t from your party – 

and you just can’t accept that. 

The press seems to ignore the fact
that the folks responsible for this train wreck 

have NO interest whatsoever
in having a functional government; 

especially one headed by a black man.

By their own definition, 

they HATE government; 

they would be fine with it shutting down
permanently.

They’re anarchists disguising themselves as patriots – 

and by dwelling only in their own insular myopic universe, 

with their fear driven talking heads,

they’ve even managed to fool themselves 

into thinking they’re right. 

For them, Obama is the equivalent 

of a toddlers boogeyman living under the bed.

Have you ever tried to ‘reason’ with a child 

about how there’s really NOT anything
to be frightened of…
 how did that work?

It didn’t, right?

Because when you’re consumed by fear,
you don’t process reality well. 

Especially when you've surrounded yourself 

with other toddlers
all screaming 

and whipping themselves up
into a frenzy. 

Washington desperately needs more grownups.

 Friends, the nightmare will return;
trust me on this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the “If I only had a brain category”…

A 16yr old girl in Nebraska has been denied an abortion 

after the states Supreme Court ruled 

she wasn’t mature enough to opt for the procedure 

and should give birth instead.

Say what?? 

You’re too immature to decide about your own healthcare – 

and that somehow qualifies you to be a parent 

and raise a baby? 

The unnamed teenager asked a judge
to waive the states requirement of parental consent
for an abortion because she’d been in foster care for years

 after her biological parents rights were terminated 

after years of abuse.

The girl testified “she didn’t have the ability to be the right mom I would like to be right now”.

The district judge ruled (and the Supreme Court upheld) 

that because the girl was financially dependent on the state
and foster parents,

 had never lived on her own 

and had no work experience, 

she wasn’t mature enough to choose an abortion.

Right…
 so let’s add a baby to that rich stew of immaturity and dependence 

‘cause THAT makes sense!

Shut the front door.

Wish those judges could come work in our ED for a week – 

this kid will be on someone’s abuse caseload 

within months!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know money is tight. 

I know prescriptions are expensive. 

I know medical emergencies come up 

and many parents have tough choices to make 

about whether to treat their child with the meds they need 

or feed them…

however…

when you qualify for FREE healthcare for your kids 

and you don’t get off your ass to go the office 

and fill out the paperwork that would let them get it, 

my sympathy for you goes skipping out the door.

This wasn’t about an error at the state with your forms; 

this wasn’t because you had work obligations
and couldn’t get off 

during the hours the office was open
to fill out and sign the form 

your caseworker needed you to; 

this wasn’t because you didn’t have a ride…

this was about YOU choosing not to do your job as a parent.  

The sad reality is that the kids are the ones who will suffer 

if we say no to the outrageous demands of their parents –

so we give them one month of free prescriptions, 

hoping it will ‘tide them over’
until the paperwork 'gets straightened out' –

jacking up the cost of healthcare for all of us 

and reinforcing
that there are no consequences for irresponsibility.

It’s truly time for me to get out of healthcare; 

I don’t need/want to see the waste and dysfunction
up close and personal anymore. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a positive note: 

Can I just say how crazy I am about my sons? 

This one - Art Boy -

came home unexpectedly 

to surprise his brother  -

to join him and his groomsmen
on a long Bachelor weekend to TX.

They’re driving for ass numbingly long hours 

to Houston
to see a Ultimate Fight Championship match
this weekend. 

(Because nothing quite says we’re glad you’re getting married 

like seeing men pummel the brain cells of another human being
into oblivion, right? 

???

Must be a guy thing.) 

I hate the very idea of it all – 

except for what it shows about my sons relationship 

and how willing they are to be there for each other. 

Guess who else was happy to have him home –
for however brief a visit?!

Full weekend -

hanging a new display rack in the bathroom...

enjoying the quiet...

birthday packages...

flowers in praying mantis vases...

roses in my bedroom...

Lavender roses, tinged with pink, in the dining room...

 brides being showered...

and ever vigilant guard dogs!

It was lovely!

Let's review...

* your 4 yr old daughter did NOT get gonorrhea and syphllis from the bedsheets - even if you haven't changed them for a month and even if they were used for a threesome - which, BTW, is not only TMI but totally disgusting!

*if your husband got STD's from someone else while swearing he was 'faithful' to you, you both might want to borrow Webster's Dictionary to look up the very meaning of fidelity.
(Just a hint: his picture won't be next to the definition)

* can you explain how a threesome fits into the definition of 'faithful'?

* but back to your daughter... if you are the only people who care for her and YOU don't have an STD but HE does... do you really have to ask WHERE she got the diseases from???

*it's not rocket science, just simple biology!

God, I'm tired:
helping clients with

basic math 

(1+1=2) 

and

breaking through the barrier of denial
can be exhausting.