I’m still here…

breathing slowly into a paper bag; 

trying not to pass out from the realization 

that my life is changing in 2 weeks! 

How did 34 years go by so quickly? 

Seems like just yesterday – 

and not 10 months ago – 

that I was called to leave ’the known’ 

and head toward mystery? 

Perhaps the biggest surprise is that I did. 

I stepped out in blind faith
and moments of great confidence 

but there are still times 

when the structure of the life I’ve had 

for decades 

seems to be the only reality
I could possibly know. 

And yet… 

I’ve deliberately chosen to put myself to the test. 

The emerging reality is that, 

in 1 month, 

when I wake every morning, 

I’ll have no idea what’s around the next bend, 

where and what I’ll eat, 

where I’ll lay my head, 

who I’ll meet 

or what I’ll see. 

I’ve never had the opportunity for that to be my reality. 

Even on a trip to a new country or place, 

things have been scheduled, 

reserved and ’itinerized’. 

There’s been an attempt at controlling the chaos 

within the travel. 

Feels reckless and scary 

and liberating 

to give the unknown 

free reign. 

 And maybe that’s the point.