A few hours north

didn't help with the weather

but I refused to be intimidated by rain.

 I'm not made of sugar;

I know I won't melt

and there was beauty to be enjoyed - 

natural and man made;
all lovingly curated.

 

 

 

 

It was lush, verdant
and oddly zen -
all at the same time.

It was a continuation of what I needed.

A reminder that a day doesn't have to be sunny to be perfect.

Far away from Washington,

where ordinary people work and love, 

I had a long weekend. 

 It didn't start off well.

Driving through several waves of storms,

after a full day of work,

was extremely tiring.

I got as far as my energy could take me -

and then stopped for the night.

And, although the next day was overcast 

and sporadically rainy,

I was in a lovely place to spend a few hours

before driving the last 'leg' of my trip.

 Indiana Dunes State Park

Just a few hours away from home -

and across Lake Michigan from Chicago.

 What?

You can't see Chicago?

 Let me help you!

 It was just the break I needed!

Where to even start?

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

We have a disease in the WH - 

Ejectile dysfunction disorder – 

and it’s in full flower.

Spicer, Preibus and Scaramucci are all the latest victims.

Sadly that still leaves Kelly Anne, Jared, Ivanka, Bannon and #45 all on the inside.

All the talking heads last night were telling us there’s finally an adult in the building  - 

John Kelly as the new Chief of Staff.

I don’t know about you 

but I think it’s SO disheartening that we have a president with SO little self-discipline 

it has to be imposed from the outside 

by a former military leader 

in some sort of self-imposed military coup.

I  know #45 was exiled from his parents’ home as a boy and sent to military school. 

I know he must have thought dressing up like a soldier gave him some authority 

or the illusion of power; 

maybe it even won him an element of respect from his father, 

but honestly, you’re 70 years old!

Act like a grownup without having a Daddy standing next to you, 

knocking the phone out of your hand every time it Twitter twitches.

The Oedipal drama going on in this guy’s skull is pathological beyond description.

Can he really be that far removed from reality 

that he doesn’t see the admission that HE crafted his sons lame explanation 

for meeting with the Russian lawyer

amounts to orchestrating a cover up?

What am I saying? 

Of course, he’s that delusional.

The man is certifiably nuts. 

I can’t believe it’s taken 6 months for much of the country 

to catch up to that reality.

At least some of the news behind the headlines gave me hope this week.

"There are people inside the administration that think it is their job 

to save America from this president. Ok?"

Actually Anthony (Scaramucci), 

that’s more than OK; 

it’s fabulous!

It’s given me hope that the Resistance is alive and well inside enemy lines.

It’s given me hope that there are patriots in the Republican party 

who haven’t drunk the Kool-Aid 

and who still remember a shared vision 

for a better UNITED states of America.

There will come a time – 

and it’s coming soon – 

when  people will be held to account for their support of a demagogue; 

when they will have to explain their silence in the face of his insanity.  

Silence gives consent.

It’s time for Republicans to stop using their crazy Uncle in the Attic 

as diversion and poster boy for their cruel and repressive agenda 

and stand up for the American people.

I may have more hope - 

but I'm still not holding my breath.

He must begin

To overcome

the inertia of the world

he had to ignore reason

and seize the day.

He must pick up

the hammer and chisel

the saw and the drill

he must begin.

he must forget

the ache in his side

his doubts

his fears

the future

the future is always

self defeating

if he sat in the house

and thought about it

he could come up

with a dozen reasons

for doing nothing

for waiting for a better day

waiting for his mood

to change

waiting for his doubts

to disappear

No, the only way

he could go on

was by grasping

the tools at hand

ignoring reason

and begin the Ark...

he could not wait

for a sunny day

the clouds were gathering

and it was beginning to rain.

Donald Waldemer

 This poem spoke to me on so many levels -

and to be sure, 

it's not just about Noah!

The future can seem so foreboding, 

the task too large 

and our tools too inadequate;

but we've begun

and we must persist.

The stakes are too high...

it's been raining for months.

 

“It's amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.” 

John Guare

My yesterdays 
and even many of my todays 
have felt problematic lately.

Old issues I would have sworn I had thoroughly addressed 

have slipped out of their decades old hiding places 

and are demanding to be noticed 
and re-worked again.

Issues of worth, rejection, body integrity, 

responsibility (to what, to whom and for what TBD) 

manifesting themselves as autoimmune dis-eases 
of my body and soul, 

not to mention all the political nonsense in which one could wallow and obsess.

I can’t honestly say the past or the future is keeping me up at night; 

nothing can keep me awake past 9-ish these days; 

it’s just thoughts are crammed into crazy clown cars 

which are whizzing around a track in my head 

rather continuously in the background 

while I work, walk and generally try to pass as ‘a normal person.’

It’s time to get someone to help me pump the brakes, derail the cars 
and empty them out.

Concentrating on the 'tomorrows' for the past few weekends has helped – 

and provide clues of where I need to be focusing my attention.

 Was I EVER so young 
and certain that life and love were going to work out?

This one is growing and changing so fast
I can barely keep up!

 There's a reason something is always in his mouth -
4 new teeth on top
joining the two on the bottom!

 I'd forgotten how strong the drive for gross motor skills is once it kicks in.
He rarely sits still now.

He can crawl,
 pull himself up to have long conversations
with the dogs

and then try things out from their perspective!

 Oh to see the world through his young eyes
with everything new and exciting!

 

 This little guy can brighten any day -

and in these troubled times,

that's HUGE!

Dear Millennial

I read your article “59 percent of Millennials Raised in a Church Have Dropped Out – and They’re Trying to Tell Us Why” – along with similar articles making the rounds in recent months.

I’ve seen many of my friends ‘like’ the article on Facebook – although how they can hit the ‘like’ button, wail AND wring their hands at the same time is beyond both my understanding or dexterity.

All those ‘likers’ are faithful churchgoers - some ordained, some just ‘lay’ folks like me sitting in the pews on most Sunday mornings.
Frankly I’ve been amazed that not a single one of them voiced any concern about either the content or the tone of your observations.

Since you say you “need someone consistently speaking truth”, I thought I’d oblige and step up since I sense that no one else has or will. Think of this as a loving reality check from a big sister; ok, a mom. Oh alright, an indulgent Grandma.

I read your words – several times actually – and what I heard over and over again is “Me… me, me, me”. Listen to me; value me, elevate me, include me, conform to me, prove to me, create opportunities for me, serve me.

I’m not sure how to break it to you but, at its very essence, Christian community is about as close to getting a memo from God saying “It’s NOT about you” as you’re likely to find.

You declare that you value “voice and receptivity above all else”.
Really? Above being still and listening for the small voice of God?
Maybe its not a church you’re looking for; maybe you need to consider a community forum or discussion group where your voice can be the focus.

That being said, you are, and would be recognized as, a unique, beloved child of God with specific gifts to offer in every congregation with which I’m familiar  - but the church and Christianity writ large doesn’t revolve around your feelings, your voice or your schedule.

You ask that we stop all the church jargon and get down to basics – Love God and Love Others – and I couldn’t agree more.

But here’s the rub – putting God first and faithfully serving those He loves the most -  who are generally the populations our society values the least – takes time. It involves building and sustaining relationships; it’s inconvenient. Sacrifices will be required and it won’t fit neatly into the small sliver of time you happen to have available on the random Sunday in between whatever team sports you and your children are more passionately committed to than the development of your faith.

And, please, don’t tell me I don’t understand about time pressures.
I don’t have to Google or check it on Snopes to know the days in 2017 have the exact same 24 hours allotted to them that they did when I was raising 2 sons as a single working mother with no husband and no extended family as backup.

Being an adult – being a Christian adult – means making hard choices in time allocation.
You want a closer relationship with God? A deeper understanding of the life and love of Jesus? Then spend time in silence with them; read about them; discuss what others know about them and how living a life based on the teachings of the church have changed their lives. Intimate relationships don’t just happen; they’re a reflection of the time and effort you put into them - or not.

No one is preventing you from becoming involved, deeply involved, in the life of the church and impacting decisions about our shared spiritual life.

I’m not sure what you’re referring to when you say we should stop creating ‘Christian activity’.
You say “community happens best in service with a shared purpose”.
Again, maybe its not a church you’re looking for. Maybe the Kiwanis or Lions would suit you better.

We don’t ‘do’ activity as Christians for the sake of doing activity.

We pay attention to the brokenness of the world and we work in hundreds of small, often unrecognized, ways to bring this world closer to the Kingdom of God where resources, sorrows, joys and life are shared. We recognize that every gift we have is from a loving God, that none of it is ‘ours’ and we are called to freely share those gifts with others.

We struggle weekly with how to be as counter cultural and radical as Christ was.
We don’t have a lock on how to do it and we often don’t even agree on what that looks like and what our priorities for outreach should be.
Feel free to join us and add your voice and thoughts to the struggle.

On any given Sunday, our parish bulletin lists dozens of ways to engage in efforts to make a difference on a local, national and international level. All of these efforts are led by congregational members who are responding with passion to a calling to change the world.
They are always open to anyone who wants to get more involved.
But you won’t get an engraved invitation.
You may actually have to take some initiative.

And those people holding leadership positions in the church?
They didn’t leave a Newcomer brunch and demand to be included.

They demonstrated the radical act of faith called showing up - serving selflessly, sometimes for years - setting up tables, cooking, cleaning, raking leaves, leading other peoples children through the turbulent teen years as Sunday school teachers and leaders. They made a joyful noise by singing in choir, weatherizing windows for the elderly, leading Mission trips, visiting shut ins … all the small acts of love that are essential to a congregations communal life. They let themselves be known, be vulnerable; they made mistakes, asked forgiveness and tried again. They dug deep when times called for sacrifice; they supported each other during good times and bad - because that’s what families do - Gods family especially. They did all those small acts which made us stronger as a community so we could do the work we’re called to do as church.

Dear Millennial, what have YOU contributed to the life of your church?

How are YOU serving and building up the body of Christ so that together we can accomplish all that God is calling us to do?

Wopila, Maggie

It came as unexpected gift;

a blessing wholly undeserved.

 

Acrylic, canvas and talent 

capturing spirit and the hint of a smile, 

the twinkle of an eye.

I remember,
with a child's heart,

the rare occasions when a smile would break open -

delight overcoming her awkwardness about less than perfect teeth.

I remember being enveloped by soft brown arms,

resting my blonde curly head on her ample bosom;

not individual breasts but a shelf of comfort;

refuge from the latest injustice inflicted on my tender heart

by careless parents and siblings.

I knew then the old spiritual our church choir sang on Sundays
was wrong -

the bosom of Abraham had nothing to compare to the bosom of Mary.

O rocka my soul!

For a child longing to be part of something bigger than the brokenness she knew,

her embrace was home.

Her face was the first glimpse I ever had of God.

I tried to calculate the odds that led to the paintings creation:

a chance meeting years ago

between a New Jersey born and bred social worker

and a beautiful artist from the Inner Hebrides of Scotland;

a meeting at a barbeque on a Lakota reservation

in a forgotten corner of the plains in South Dakota,

just north of the Nebraska Sandhills.

I quickly stopped the calculations,

not because I'm bad at New Math (although I am),

but because there can honestly be no other explanation 

beyond the timelessness of Gods grace.

My heart filled to overflowing with gratitude for the presence of her in my life - 

the 'her' encompassing both artist and subject.

I marvel at the realization that 

while I only had my great grandmother in my life for a decade - 

much of which I was pre-verbal and inarticulate -

she silently shaped my world
and my soul

with unconditional love

in ways unequaled by anyone else.

I wonder if she knew how much I loved her in return.

I do know that one day -

maybe years from now,

maybe sooner -

when I leave this world to join the ancestors on the other side,

she'll be there waiting for me;

with a twinkle in her eyes 

and a hint of a smile;
ready for the delight in the reunion
to overcome any of our perceived imperfections.

I also know that in her embrace

I'll be home again.

Another reality check from the universe

I would have sworn I had gotten the message by now.

I didn't think the universe would need to keep reminding me 

that I'm not in control.

Apparently karma thought I needed more reminders.

I used to think it was hard being a single parent of two young boys.

I don't know why I used the past tense -

it WAS hard being a single parent of two young boys.

 What I didn't fully appreciate  -

and couldn't fully comprehend until I got here -

is how hard it can be

to be the single parent of two adult men -

and to see them struggle with life choices;

those that occur randomly through forces over which they have no control

and those that are consequences of choices they made.

At least when they're young,

there's the illusion of control;

the feeling - however delusional - 

that you can modify circumstances to mitigate the harm.

With fully functional and independent adults,

after you've offered your thoughts and observations -

IF and when asked -

there's nothing to do but step back and watch it unfold.

THAT, my friends, is infinitely harder.

I'm holding on -

waiting for the amazing

and ordinary

again.

A full week

of physical labor

under the intense South Dakota sun.

 

By far, 

my favorite part was planting indigenous plants -

cranberries, golden currants, chokecherries and juneberries -

along the Little White River;

 a beautiful river that wends its way through the reservation.

 I also gained a whole new appreciation 

for the work of my mulch man!

I'm used to spreading mulch -

but not making it,

 hauling it,

unloading it

and THEN spreading it!

 

Important life lesson learned:

don't use the chipper when its been raining;

the wet pulp will create a huge mess that's guaranteed to gum up the blades!

 

No one 'missions' alone -

and my companions made the week fly by

 in our luxury accommodations!

 Try not to be too jealous!

Anything is bearable for a few days/nights though, right?

Doing wash, getting caught up on mail, and getting back to work -

will be back in the swing of things before I know it!

I'm here

and loving it!

Reset button

For the next week or so, I'll be blogging here:

Come join me if you're so inclined - 

if not, 

I'll catch you later.

It's gonna be hard to leave these guys behind

 but they promised he won't grow while I'm gone!

 Call me skeptical.

Despite missing them,

I'm ready for a road trip to, literally, greener pastures.