Going out on a limb...

Have you ever had one of those moments?
The moment you throw a statement into a conversation that you think is perfectly 'normal' – only to be met with a wall of stunned silence.

A silence so concentrated and polite it’s as if you ripped off a gianormous fart while curtseying to the Queen – and the whole court is waiting to see what her response will be – which, of course, is total denial and a stiff upper lip.

Anywhoooo…

Several of us were talking about sleep disturbances and how we just don’t seem to be sleeping as well as we used to.
As the conversation veered into ways of lulling ourselves into sleep, either shortly after we turn off the lights or in the middle of the night as we try to go back to sleep, I offered, “There’s always the old standby of pretending you’re dead, in your casket and thinking of what individuals would say as they came up to offer their respects. That’s worked for me since I was a child.”


OMG – they looked at me like I was something out of the Adams family -
I mean, honestly, none of you have done that?
Just picturing a line of former loves filing by, abjectly grieving and FINALLY recognizing what a treasure they passed up, reminiscing about all the laughs I provided them (OK, so some of those laughs were during intimate moments when that shouldn’t have been my primary response but ..whatever!) it’s enough to keep me entertained for hours…or until I drift off contentedly back to sleep, which ever comes first.

And the funniest part of all is that I have NO intention of being trapped in a box for all eternity.
Our family’s “post earthly vessel” tradition is cremation and being tossed into the Atlantic Ocean and riding a wave, or sadly now, an oil slick out beyond the horizon.

The only thing that might make me reconsider that option is the ultimate craft project – a personalized, collaged casket!

But I doubt there’s enough Modge Podge in the universe for that… and besides, what would people say about THAT as they passed by -which would totally take the focus off ME and onto the craft project which would then defeat the whole purpose of the visualization!

Nope, we won't be having that!


Any chance you think I don't sleep well because I'm over-thinking things?