Travelin’ lighter as I get older…

Things don't go on forever, and the quicker you accept that change is inevitable, the happier you're gonna be. 

Trey Anastasio 

Well, dude, let me tell ya, I was pretty happy.

You know when I told you I spent part of the weekend in the basement cleaning and getting things together for Good Will and our Fall Boot Sale?

Well, the part I left out was that meant accepting certain realities – and I wasn’t even totally aware that’s what I was doing at the time.  (Don’t you LOVE the ability to reflect - to look at your seemingly simple actions, see a deeper purpose or meaning and amaze yourself with the interior work you’re doing – unbeknownst to even you!)

The deceptively simple act of cleaning out closets and storage space = accepting that I am not a size 8 anymore. In fact, the month or two of my entire life that I was was such an aberration of body shape that I can barely remember what it felt and looked like but, boy, did I shop during that time... and I had hangers of clothes that I haven’t been able to wear for more than a decade to prove it!

It also meant clearing the decks of all my ‘affair underwear’ … and don’t pretend you don’t know what I mean.

Those wispy, colorful, not at all practical for working days, girlie things we wear when we think we might get laid lucky… with a new or current Mr Right Now.

Without getting all TMI on you, I’ve accepted that’s NOT where I am and, if I’m ever there again, we’d both deserve better than leftovers from previous trysts.
I’ll admit that didn’t stop me from having a GREAT time remembering the various Misters ‘you can’t be first but you can be next’ I bought them for!! )As slutty as that sounds - it isn't; not like it's double digits or anything... anyhoo...)

It’s a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over again in my life – how bogged down I can get by hanging on to what I no longer need; what no longer fits my life.

I remember telling a therapist once that everything I ever let go of had claw marks on it; apparently not so much anymore!
This was so easy!

I love that the healthier part of myself took control, got my not a size 8 butt down the stairs and purged – but in a good way!

I’m not giving up on getting healthier; I’m not giving up on the possibility of having another partner again at some point in my life.

I’m giving up on feeling badly because that’s not where I am now – and it feels great!