The trip to Iona

involved cars, 

2 planes, 

2 buses 

and 

2 ferries

According to ancient ritual,

a pilgrimage,

 by definition, 

involves hardships 

and discomfort.

Going over to Scotland,

mine included

a migraine and accompanying nausea

not helped by

the usual humiliation of US Customs,

inedible tofu curry plane food,

and terrible turbulence

over the Atlantic 

that had us within seconds of donning 

life preservers.

Coming back was easier

because

despite extra pounds of

contraband -

Iona marble and greenstone, 

smuggled bottles of whisky and mead,

jewelry,

souvenirs and books,

I was traveling lighter.

I left my troubles,

accumulated sadness

of the past two years

and part of my heart

on this odd, isolated,

magical island.

It was a wonderful trip;

maybe even a life changer.

Still processing all that occurred;

am back, for the most part,

and headed into work today.

The next several posts

will retrace my footsteps,

so,

if you're not up for a travelog,

check back in a few days!

The destination

Iona is a 3.4 square mile island 

in the Inner Hebrides, 

with a population of 125.

More beaches

and another island to explore

in my beloved Atlantic Ocean.

A friend and I were laughing

this past weekend 

that,

given Hurricane Sandy 

and

my family's tradition

of being cremated and 

having their ashes scattered

on Long Beach Island, 

they will probably have arrived 

at Iona 

far before 

I do!

They won't be the only specters

or ghosts there...

from what I've read,

faeries and spirits are all over the island.

St Columba, a political and spiritual refugee

from Ireland, made Iona his home.

His missionary work brought Celtic Christianity 

to Scotland and the United Kingdom.

He and his monks began work on an illustrated manuscript

which the community brought back with them to Kells, Ireland

after a Viking raid (in the early 9th century) 

killed a sizable portion of their group. 

We know the manuscript today as The Book of Kells.

In 1200, a Benedictine abbey and nunnery were established on the island

and it is these now restored buildings that survive today.

Grave markers, original crosses with Norse runes on them, 

from the 10th and 11th centuries,

are part of the islands landscape,

both emotional and physical.

Hardly the destination of choice 

for those with a Las Vegas 

or Disneyland 

orientation...

but perfect for me!

Be back early next month!

Besotted

I won't deny it.

There's something about a yellow star magnolia 

that just makes my heart sing...

the exquisite color, 

the form, 

the scent

... breath taking.

Folks at the tennis courts nearby 

must have thought I'd lost my mind 

as I walked around the tree for a half hour, 

admiring it! :)

There WAS other beauty in the park

Nope...

this wins!

Almost departure time...

The only journey is the one within. 

 Rainer Maria Rilke

I feel as if I've been on a journey

all my life.

To discover who I am,

whose I am 

and 

what it is 

I was created for.

I don't believe

our existence is a mistake

or mere happenstance.

I believe each person

has a purpose; 

a reason for being here

on this earth

at this time

and, 

if their paths cross mine,

there's a reason for that as well.

Did you know labyrinths were created

by, and for, Christians 

who wanted to make a pilgrimage

but, 

because of life circumstance, 

obligations 

or illness

were unable to travel 

to the Holy Lands,

Spain (The Camino de Santiago), 

or Rome?

Labyrinths are not mazes.

There are no dead ends,

blind alleys

or 'surprise' exits.

There's one way in 

and 

one way out...

all you need 

to do is walk the path

that you're on.

I've walked numerous labyrinths,

located

both inside and outside,

and, 

despite the same basic design,

the experience is always different.

In some, 

it was merely a nice walk;

but,

in two others -

New Harmony (IN)

and Chartres Cathedral (France) -

I had life altering,

profoundly spiritual

and totally unexpected

experiences - 

from which I've not fully recovered.

I love that you can never predict 

where or how 

insight, faith and revelation

will find you.

Can you tell I'm looking forward

to my trip -

and what may be found -

or what may find me -

on this next stage 

of my journey?

Weekend prayer

May your weekend be filled with people - 

the kind you love and the kind who love you. 

May you be brave in conversation, 

humble as you listen, 

lighthearted as you refuse to take yourself 

too seriously. 

And if you spend a little time 

with someone who is hurting, 

may you be willing to offer your company 

without saying any words at all. 

And may you remember that really, 

everyone is hurting. 

Be slow to take offense. 

Enjoy your weekend 

my friends. 

Emily Freeman

I was saddened yesterday to hear about the death of Jonathan Winters – comedian, actor and artist.

While I grew up seeing him on a variety of shows, I had no idea he was an artist until a recent trip to KC to see Art Boy, who has a book of his paintings.
I was surprised to see the range of his talent.

I took a picture of one of my favorites –

something about the balance, simplicity and color of it appealed to me.
Such a Renaissance man.

Speaking of talented men, I have to brag for a minute about  Art Boy – and an award he was recently given. (Here’s a link if you’re interested in more details).

For someone whose art clearly doesn’t match the sofa and doesn’t fit in with the sensibilities of most families (hell, even I don’t ‘get it’ most of the time), I was delighted, for him, that he received this recognition.

The monetary award isn’t bad either – and, as soon as he gets back from a camping trip to Big Sur, I’m sure he’ll decide how to spend some of it… I’ve already forbidden him to do anything practical with it… like he’d listen to me anyway… I suspect a trip overseas to obscure museums in Prague, Russia and Ireland will be at the top of his list.

Just a heads up.
While I’ll be posting up until the middle of next week, I’ve decided NOT to take an ipad, iphone or any other ‘device’ with me overseas - other than an e-reader (for the overnight plane ride) and my camera. Going old school and taking a pen and a small journal with me – for notes!
I want to remember what it’s like to actually experience something and not be constantly thinking about how to document or word it!
Like I said - old school.

Oh, and for those of you looking for a fascinating – and totally compelling-  read, you can’t go wrong with Life After Life.

It was going to be one of my trip ‘options’ – but I started it and couldn’t stop.

Don’t want to have a spoiler alert but if you’ve ever spent time pondering about how your life would have been different if you’d just________ (fill in the blank)  instead of_________(fill in another blank) then you’ll love this too.

So many ways for lives to be lived (and ended); so many ways in which different decisions or actions change the course of what those lives contain.
LOVED it!

Spring beauty

Look - it's everywhere!

No explanation needed!

Insert smile here.

Hype

Jumping up on my soapbox this morning to rail against the news media and the part they play in turning us into a nation of quivering Chicken Littles.

You remember the character from your nursery school days, right? - 

the sky is falling, the sky is falling... 

calamitous events at every turn.

Think of her whenever you watch the news!

It's not an economic correction - its the worst recession since the Great Depression!
It's not a teenage dictator, eager to play with his latest weapons - its the start of a nuclear holocaust!
It's not a handful of people dying from the flu - its an pandemic!
It's not a winter snowstorm - it's the storm of the century!
It's not a routine thunderstorm in the Midwest in spring  - its an impending tornado!

OMG, people - Chill the f*ck out!!

Do terrible things happen? Yes
Do 'weather events' impact and sometimes end lives? Of course.

But advising us to scurry in to hiddy holes every time the sky darkens and instilling fear into the marrow of our bones is NOT helpful. (Not to mention what it's doing to the psyche of the kids watching this drivel!)

It's not a good sign that I'm ticked already - and tornado season hasn't even hit top gear here in the middle of the country. (Can you tell we had storms last night - with all the media frenzy that goes along with it?)

Turn off the news, 

put down the devices with 'storm trackers' -

look out your doors, 

see what's happening 

and 

go about your lives!!

The plus side of having been a single parent for decades - with no partner to turn to for reality checks when you were uncertain or scared - is that it tends to make you more comfortable with trusting your own instincts.

If I had allowed my life to come to a screeching halt every-time I was afraid, I'd have been in a catatonic ball in a corner of my house - and how would that have solved anything!?

You could always go buy cute baby clothes like I did... 

a good storm really clears extra shoppers out the stores!

You can't be a baby in our family without 'bibbers'!

And look on the bright side...

you can always use 

downed tree branches

for a centerpiece.

Definitions -

Invasive weeds?

Or a lovely bouquet of spring flowers?

Who decides?

I loved the ‘reality check’ of it all…

A friends comment to me 

after a recent post 

where I declared that 

“I am a pilgrim”. 

She laughingly said that was true 

whether I had, 

or used, 

a passport or not – 

 that one of her favorite things about me 

was my ability to

always see 

the sacred 

in the ordinary. 

Another friend 

described me 

(and the work I do) 

saying

"There isn't a tougher job 

in the whole hospital 

and she manages to do it 

day after day 

with compassion 

and fury 

and humor". 

I'm sure some folks

on the receiving end 

of some of that fury

would NOT share 

the love

that went into

either of 

those descriptions.

Getting glimpses of how others see us 

can be scary  

and wonderful

and quite unlike

how we see ourselves.

One's destination is never a place 

but rather 

a new way of looking at things. 

 Henry Miller

Obviously, 

I had plenty of time 

to have my mind wander

while driving back 

from court yesterday.

"Unforeseen circumstances

has led to our being unable to do your taxes this year. Please come pick up your information and take it immediately to some other tax preparer".

Not exactly the message you want on your voicemail from your accountant's office - 10 days before we're required to render unto Caesar what is Caesars, you know what I mean?

It's not like I just dropped them off either - she's had all my 'stuff' since early March.
Not only my tax 'stuff', but my mothers and my mothers Trust account as well - she's been doing our taxes for, oh I don't know, the past 2 decades!

Arriving, panic stricken to her office this weekend, I was met by a 'team' of federal agents and had to sign a receipt to get my information back. And when I queried one of them about what was going on, he only cryptically replied, "She's not able to do taxes anymore".

OKAY then...

Luckily the CPA on the floor above hers posted a sign on the door saying he still had openings.
For good or for ill, we're going with him. (Me and about 25 other tax refugees from downstairs!)

If I get indicted for tax fraud, I swear I'm not smart enough to have orchestrated anything!
(I know it can't be money laundering, I don't have enough - clean or dirty - to pass along to anyone else!)

Two more things: 

A) orange is SO not my color 

and, 

B) if they're really old fashioned jumpsuits, 

are the stripes horizontal or vertical?

Well, sh*t... that's not gonna work for me either!

Tourist -

it's easier to say than pilgrim.

Not linguistically 

but conversationally.

How to explain that my trip to Iona 

is, 

in reality, 

part of my pilgrimage... 

without sounding 

like a total religious 

whack job!

A pilgrim and a tourist

might have the same itinerary

but the pilgrim is on

a sacred journey

in which God is encountered

through places,

people 

and situations.

A tourist 

sees sights, 

discovers new places,

learns interesting facts,

takes photographs

and accumulates souvenirs.

A pilgrim

gains insights

and discerns new truths

about oneself.

A pilgrim

travels with the expectation

that the one who returns

is not the same person

who set out.

A pilgrim

sets out 

open to the possibility

of having identity and faith

challenged.

A pilgrim 

allows time 

for holy idleness.

The outcome of a pilgrimage

is the transformation 

that takes place 

inside the person;

with impressions imprinted

on the soul,

not just the memory 

of a digital camera.

I am a pilgrim.

(Although I do expect 

to have plenty of images

on my camera when I return)

Creation

The day the Lord created hope 

was probably the same day 

he created Spring. 

Bern Williams 

The news came to us
within the last two weeks. 

It took my breath away. 

My youngest nephew and his lady 

are having a baby this summer. 

The feelings flooded in –
as the shock subsided. 

There’s nothing conventional about this event; 

not their ages: 

his, 36, hers, 45;

their relationship: 

committed
but not legally binding;

their lifestyle: 

connected to’ the mainstream’ 

for jobs/salaries only 

but otherwise 

as far ‘off the grid’ 

as someone can get 

these days. 

For years, 

those of us who love them 

haven’t been able to figure out
‘the how and the why’ 

of why and how
they work. 

It’s amazingly surreal 

to think that from the rich stew
of all they are, 

separately
and together, 

a new life
has been
created. 

It feels right that we should find out in spring – 

when every sign of re-creation
is glorious
and stunningly
beautiful – 

and seems to exist
for no other reason 

than to give pleasure
simply
through its existence. 

Clearly God decided 

this sometimes
drab and dreary world 

needed 

whatever this little one 

is destined 

to add to our family.

This should be interesting.

Life poetry

I'm reading a marvelous book

How the Light Gets In

by Patricia Schneider.

It's about writing as a spiritual practice;

thankfully it's on my Kindle and will accompany me

easily on planes, ferries 

and across the seas.

I borrowed her words

this morning

while playing with my camera 

to create an image that speaks to all

 I could hope to accomplish -

Hope she won't mind.

Countdown to Iona

2 weeks from today - 

I'll be here!

Much to do-

more to anticipate

before that happens!

Snippets:

Did you hear folks report on the Today show yesterday – with gnashing of teeth and rendering of garments – how upset some people are who might have to give up their ’prestigious’ area codes… 202 (Washington, DC), 310 (Beverly Hills),  212 (NYC) for example …?

I can’t even remember the reason WHY things might change… but it seems to be a big deal for some sad souls.

 I was too busy thinking that if you need an area code to derive your sense of worth, I hope your cell phone (whatever the area code) has GPS, ‘cause honey, you are seriously lost!
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another school yard bully, this time masquerading as a basketball couch at a large university… another cover up by officials and administrators who seem to have placed their sports program above the lives of the students they’re supposed to be educating, another subordinate who exposed this abuse getting fired and … another example of just how entrenched the ‘boys will be boys’ testosterone laden mentality exists in our country.

BTW - Why is that behavior only reprehensible when tapes go public?
~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The only thing that stops bad guys with a gun are good guys with a gun” – remember that memorable quote from NRA henchmen (Wayne LaPierre) – bet Kaufman County (Texas) Prosecutor and his wife would disagree, both of whom were armed when they were gunned down by unknown perpetrators.

Good thing Texas still believes in, and utilizes the death penalty, isn’t it? That obviously acted as a strong deterrent, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone remind me WHY I watch any news at all?! 

When worlds collide

In some worlds, holidays are times of renewal - times to sink deeply into familial traditions and customs, surrounding yourself with people you love, foods as rich in memories as they are in calories, and stories of the past that take root in, and spring from, your heart.

Times that inform and define who you are despite the mild irritation, failed recipes and a sometimes suffocating sense of being entrapped by the very people who love you the most.

In other worlds, holidays are times when chaos reigns. When large gatherings of family and friends merely dilute responsibility for the most vulnerable of the group, when drugs and other mind altering substances are pooled and shared and adult desires are perverted and misdirected.

Times when believing that’ a village’ is watching your children actually means no one is, times that will also inform and define who a child is for life – in a myriad of painful and negative ways.

In my world, these realities collide, resulting in ‘holiday aftermath’ - unending hours of bearing witness to a seemingly endless parade of new abuse victims in the days following any major celebration.

Easter was no exception –to which the back to back to back to back sexual abuse cases will attest.

I’m not sure what world I was living in when I’d hoped it would be different this spring.

Certainly not this one; certainly not mine.

I heard the phrase “out of this world” this morning while driving to work … to which I could only exclaim – Oh, yes, please!

Natural curves

and the scent...

Now that's Easter!