Birthday gift

Today is my birthday.

I'm 65.

There will be celebrating with family and friends.

There WILL be cake!

And the celebrating will continue later this week -

with Art Boy in KC!

This post
(found here)
seems like a gift given directly to me
to keep before me 
the things that matter.

When I have a head full of things that seem to be troubles

 I draw two circles in my mind and sort my things into categories. 

One category is: Things That Will Matter at my Memorial Service. 

The other circle is: Things That Won’t Matter at my Memorial Service. 

If, for instance, I am troubled 

about the way my pants feel around my thighs, 

I try to imagine someone saying, 

“She was a nice girl, but those corduroys 

did not do anything for her.

 Such a shame for her family.” 

Odds are, that won't happen. 

That goes into the Won't Matter circle.

It is unlikely that people will decide not to come 

to my service because the light fixture in my dining room 

is not centered directly over my table. 

I can’t imagine anyone walking up to my sons at the service and saying,

 “It must be terrible to know that there were days

 when your mother hit snooze 17 times 

before getting up and having too much creamer in her coffee. 

I will be praying for you.” 

I can’t imagine that anyone will care that I spend all my money 

in eleven days even though I only get paid every fourteen days.

Or that I don't always put in a non-stop
kick-ass eight hour day at work.  
(Or in my case, go to the gym every day!)

There are things, of course, that fill my heart and head

 that get put into the Things that Will Matter circle

 as I am sorting my troubles. 

But I first have to be free of The Won’t Matter things 

so that I can tend to those things that do.

 I want to live in such a way that my friends and family

 will walk around after I am gone saying to each other, 

“She really loved you.”

 “She really loved you, too.”   

Because that is what matters the most. 

Indeed it is.

And so dear 
quirky, 
odd, 
fascinating, 
normal, 
odd, 
compassionate, 
spirit-filled, 
funny,
strange,
outlier 
friends, 
please know how much
I love you all!

You are ALL the best gifts I've received!