Saturday, December 31, 2011

I resolve - not to have resolutions!

I don't do well with edicts or rules; hence, I don't do well with resolutions.

Maybe it's my self diagnosed Oppositional Defiance Disorder; maybe it's lack of discipline; maybe it's a form of arrogance - believing rules are something other people need to follow but not me - whatever the reason, the surest way to get me to do something is to tell me that I can't do it!

Given that mind set, you can understand why it's been several decades since I made any New Years resolutions - and why I'm OK with that.

It just seems to me to be a VERY negative way of starting off the new year;

it says you aren't doing something well; that you're a failure - and we all know how difficult and short lived most change really is and how people who are labeled failures most often live up to that expectation, - so basically, with resolutions, you're screwed right off the bat!

Instead, I'm going to suggest we make lists of what we're doing right that we want to continue doing ... not that refinements and improvements can't be made in all of us, but why heap on the guilt when everyone is just trying to get through every day the best they can, right?
Ya know what I mean?

All behavior is purposeful; it helps meet some need you have, even if you wish it didn't.
And, since the behavior is there for a reason, there could be ugly consequences if you remove it.

So, if you make and then -heaven forbid - keep a resolution, just be prepared is all I'm sayin'!

That being said, my first 'Unresolution' would be to keep on being curious - about myself, about others, about why people do what they do and about why, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, folks (including myself) keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting, or hoping, to get different results, which is the very definition of insanity.

In other words, I'm going to keep channeling Dr Phil and ask myself and others "How's that working for you?"
Maybe this year, I'll even pay attention to the answers!

My second 'unresolution' would be to keep talking to strangers.

Basically I have to do this in order to keep my job, but this one goes beyond that requirement and, I fear, may be genetic.

I have NO doubt that GI Joe and Art Boy hate this one as much as I hated it when my mother felt perfectly at ease opening up all sorts of superficial details about our life to anyone who crossed her path. (Although it does make for wonderful training as a Walmart greeter if the economy continues to tumble!)

But interacting with all kinds of life forms with whom you share this planet is NOT always about developing long term relationships; its about making individuals feel they are worthy of being noticed; they are special and you're glad that, in this moment and time, your paths crossed and briefly intersected.

As annoying as it is for my children to witness, I believe as people sink into the hole of invisibility with aging, it can be a life saver to have another human being 'see' you, on any level, and believe you're worth interacting with.
So, sorry guys, I'm going to keep doing it!

I also will continue to eschew trendy clothes and shoes.
I mean, really, what's the point?

I have a great chance of getting puked or peed on every day and I don't want one set of clothes for work and another complete set for after hours.
I simply don't have the closet space.

Give me washable, all purpose clothes good for all events in my life - work, church, NASCAR, wrestling matches, shopping in thrift and antique stores - and I'm satisfied.
(Told you I was low maintenance! I'm also pulling your leg about some of these - you can decide which ones!)

I will also practice being more patient; 'practice' being code for I know it's a problem and I'm working on it.

Ditto for 'practicing' making better choices about food and exercise.

Apparently walking the dogs several miles each morning is not enough to counteract all I put in my mouth and I don't have time to walk to LA before work each day so something's got to change!

Wait, that's feeling suspiciously like a resolution...

Most of all, I'm going to continue to be open to love, laughter, 'signs', seeing humor in the worst of things and appreciating the chance to start over every day that I'm above ground and breathing!

And then there's THIS... a reminder I have to take seriously - and which may impact how often I show up here!

How about you?

What would your 'unresolutions' be?

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