August 16, 1969

Woodstock was in its 3rd day
in upstate NY; 

astronauts from Apollo 11 

were walking on the moon 

for the first time; 

Sen Ted Kennedy just pled guilty 

to leaving the scene of a fatal accident 

in Chappaquiddick (MA) 

in which a girl from my hometown 

was drowned; 

the median income per yr was $8,389; 

unemployment was at 3.6%; 

the price of a first class stamp was .06 

 and 

I still believed in love that would last 

and 

"happily ever after".

In other words, a lifetime ago.

I have never loved or trusted anyone so easily and freely.

Today, 

loss of the ability to abandon myself, 

relinquishing my customary need to control, 

analyze and assess, 

feels like a terrible price to have paid 

for life experiences and "growing up".

I miss the young man I fell so deeply in love with 

and 

I miss the part of myself that allowed it 

to happen.