Tomas

He's been dead for 25 years. 

It's impossible to believe.

His absence from our lives has been as defining
as his presence ever would have been.

I can safely say there hasn't been a day that's passed 

in which one of us hasn't thought of him.

Two months before GI Joe turned 5, he had a bad dream.

His father went in to comfort him, 

laid down with him on his bed, 

had a heart attack and died. 

He was 39.

Art Boy, 10, was having friends
spend the night for a sleepover
 in the living room.

It was supposed to be a 'normal' weekend.

Our definition of 'normal' changed forever
and

the nightmare
from which none of us could awaken 

would continue for years.

There are times when I catch, 

out of the corner of my eye, 

wisps of that 'bad dream fog' still lingering.

At least now, thankfully,
its presence is momentary;
it dissipates
 as more pressing realities of our lives
demand their due.

We have lived so many lives
in this one lifetime since then.

But premature death
and the reordering of lives
 has shaped us all
in ways
 beyond our imagining.

Some things are not for everyone to know,
some lessons and gifts are only for those
who lived through it.

Suffice it to say,
it's been both a blessing
and
a curse.

Here's to all of us
finally
being at peace.