Saturday, May 25, 2013

Attention all parents:

If I ruled the world -


you would NOT be able to use punctuation in your child's name 
if you didn't know the proper term 
for the punctuation mark itself!

 This - ' - is not "an upside down comma"; 
it's an apostrophe 
and it has no earthly business 
in a child's name 
unless its denoting the possessive.

In the same vein, 
naming your child -
 U'banuff -
  when clearly he wasn't
because you went on to have 5 more just like him! -
would be anuff to get you arrested for child abuse - 
all your bench warrants for fraud, burglary
and traffic violations 
notwithstanding!

I would gladly institute a 'naming law' similar to Sweden's
in which
"First names shall not be approved by the state if they can cause offense 
or can be supposed to cause discomfort 
for the one using it, 
or names which for some obvious reason 
are not suitable as a first name".

And the fact that I feel this way 
goes against every ACLU card carrying bone in my body!

I think it was "Steveydon" - 
as in "Steveydonegotmepregnant" - 
that pushed me over the edge!

Oh yes she did -
and it ain't right!
ps: I DID try to hang on to my 
vacation-and-I'm-retiring-in-10-months-so-your-crap-don't-bother-me-glow - 
but some cases can suck the very glow 
right out of you!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You have me cracking up, funny stuff.