Another typical Friday night.

It was Girls Night Out and I swear I had every intention of going...

I was delighted to be asked to join them; it feels like forever since I saw anyone who wasn't 'work-related'.

But, honestly, when push came to shove, I couldn't bring myself to go.

Work has absolutely ruined me for 'polite society'.

I listened today, for what seemed like hours, to details from a 9 yr old girl repeatedly raped by her stepfather for over a year; images that will stay with me for a long time... well, at least until another tale of horror next week pushes them toward the back of my mind.

There was no way I could sit and listen to my comfortable and uber wealthy friends complain about problems with their Mercedes, BMWs or vacation homes or how their trust fund kids are misbehaving - when they aren't getting cushy jobs and internships they haven't earned with corporations their fathers represent in their law firms.

I just don't have the patience to do it.

That doesn't make them bad people; it doesn't make me bad either.

I just can't be there anymore.

I can't be the person who pretends to find those topics interesting, the person who thinks those things define a meaningful life.

Yesterday was a day when I was painfully aware of exactly how much my career choice has altered my life.

My view of the world and how I see things has been warped; it's been changed forever.

I don't see any way back even though I know my 'normal' isn't normal.

It was simply easier, and more comfortable, to grab a drink with someone from the front lines and exchange stories from the trenches; less a 'Happy Hour' and more a debriefing session.

Either way, the outcome was exactly the same: I came home crying and alone.

But, at least, thank God, nobody asked me how I can do what I do...

cause I'm not sure I would have had an answer that would have satisfied either of us!