Things I'd tell my younger self

1. It's not important what people think of you.

Trust me, it really does not matter what other people think of you.

It matters what YOU think of YOU.

Your goal shouldn’t be to get people to like you.

Whether someone thinks that you’re an idiot or whether they think you’re awesome, that’s their business, not yours.

Spend your life being the best person you can be; follow your heart and do the things that make you happy.

Never hold back because you’re afraid of what others may think of you.

2. Know your value is a God given ‘constant’; not something that fluctuates with circumstances or mood.

3. You are ten times prettier than you think you are – and the reality is that it doesn’t matter.

The lie our culture sells is that looks are the only things that matters.

You are more than a face.

You are NOT your boobs or your hair or your thigh size.

You may never be totally at peace with how you look…but try to establish a détente with your body.

It will be easier for your soul and your heart if you’re not constantly at war with the body you’re living this life in.

4. Be benevolent with yourself.

You would never make a loved one prove they were worthy of your love the way you make yourself prove your worth every day.

Practice getting to know yourself without agenda, without judgment, without trying to change. Just give yourself your attention, pure and simple.

Attention is the most basic form of love.

You are worthy of your attention.

5. Keep in mind that your body is directly connected to your spirit.

Look after your body and learn to listen to it – even when it’s telling you things you’d rather not hear.

Put nothing in your body that can permanently harm your spirit, including the wrong man.

6. He is not ‘The One’.

It will seem like he is, but he is not.

It will be OK that he’s not.

There will be others.

It will even be OK if there aren't.

7. Remember what it was like to be a nine-year-old girl, no matter how old you get.

Remember the feeling of freedom - when there were still fields to explore and creeks to play in and treasures to be found – and none of it cost a dime.

Savor that feeling.

Be curious about everything.

Wake up with gratitude for each new day.

8. Calculus.

You will never use it.

9. Flowers are never a waste of money.

Every time you look at them, they’ll remind you how much beauty there can be in the world.

Buy them if you must, but grow them in a garden of your own if you can.

Gardening cultivates hope.

10. Learn your way around money, but remember it’s only important as a means; it is not the End Goal.

Don’t ever leave someone else completely in charge, whether it’s your husband, partner, parents, or banker.

Financial independence gives you the freedom to walk away from bad situations.

11. Enjoy every moment of NOW.

Time is the most precious and the most uncertain resource you have.

You will say goodbye too soon to too many people you love.

You never know how long you’ve got to live and that is why you have to make the most of every moment that you’re alive.

Don’t wish your life away; don’t wish that you were older, or with someone else or in a different place.

Be present in your own life.

12. Ignore conventional wisdom and talk to as many 'strangers' as possible.

See every person you encounter as being sent by the universe to be your teacher – and learn something from everyone, no matter how old, imperfect or broken they seem.

Their lives intersected with yours for a reason – figure out what that reason is.

13. When meeting someone new, if he or she seems to be behaving like an ass, show compassion first.

If, however, after displaying genuine compassion, they are still acting like an ass, walk away.

If they follow you, call the police.

14. Focus on the positive.

There are two sides to everything and the side you choose to focus on will make the difference between happiness and sadness.

Choose to focus your energy and attention on the positive side even when it may seem impossible.

If you focus on the negative side of things, not only will you deprive yourself of the joy and happiness you could have but you will also take away joy and happiness from those around you.

15. Regardless of what you’ve been told and as unfair as it is, life is NOT fair.

Railing against that reality won’t change it; it will merely waste your time.

16. Learn to let go of the illusion of control; it is just that… an illusion.

Learning to let go is an essential skill to master.

You can’t receive new gifts with open hands if you’re still clinging blindly to what came before.

17. The pain and confusion you feel is real.

Don’t deny it or pretend it doesn’t hurt to let go.

Its going to suck, but you are going to learn how to handle it.

Feel it.

Wallow in it if you need to… but set limits for your pity party, and then move on.

I would love to tell you what's going to cause you pain, to give you a ‘heads up’, but you are going to have to experience it yourself in order to work through it.

You will get through it.

Your pain will become wisdom.

18. Stop worrying about ‘The Future’ so much.

It’s literally impossible to predict the future, so don't waste time trying to predict it.

It’s good to have a general plan for the future and to work toward it but the world is round so you can’t see too far ahead.

Learn to take it as it comes.

19. You do not have to smile for every single picture.

20. Stand up for what you believe.

There will always be people who try to argue you out of what ‘your gut’ knows to be true; those who deny your reality or tear down your hopes and dreams.

There will be people who want to tell you how to live your life.

If you believe in something, don’t let others talk you out of it.

You have to stand up for what you believe in.

Be prepared to fight for it.

Your truth will always be worth fighting for.

21. Your 'truth' isn't the only reality there is.

Be open to learning from the 'reality' of others.

Be willing to change.

22. All you need in Life is a few good friends.

Choose quality over quantity when it comes to your friends; 3 close friends who would do anything for you are better than 30 fair-weather friends.

Cultivate the good ones, the bad ones will self-select their way out.

All those ‘faces’ on that book are not your friends.

23. Don’t carry hate or anger with you.

There is nothing wrong with getting angry; there’s only something wrong with staying angry and allowing that anger to turn into hate.

When you hate someone, the person it affects the most is you.

24. Beware of all cosmetic counter makeovers.

25. Your ex mother in law was totally right about this whole 'time thing', even though she was a destructive alcoholic:

“Twenty years, gone… just like that”.